Reason #303

I spent the evening on the couch watching Lifetime Christmas movies. It was pretty cold outside today, and although I try to refrian from watch Christmas movies, listening to Christmas music or putting up Christmas decorations before Thanksgiving, I made an exception tonight. I watched two movies, one of which was significantly better than the other. Of course, the acting is sub-par, the endings are predictable and these movie plots are far from realistic, but I just can't help myself. So four hours later, I found myself in full on Christmas mode.

I spent the entire month of December watching Hallmark Christmas movies last year. The Hallmark ones are pretty comparable to the Lifetime ones, neither of which are award winning. But these movies are heartwarming depsite their sappy undertones. And, with each movie, it all works out in the end. Every time. So Friday through Sunday, I would watch Hallmark Christmas movies. In fact, I'll venture to say that I saw every single Hallmark Christmas movie that played last year. A Hallmark holiday. Anyhow, I don't know why I filled my weekends with cheesy movies. I suppose I was just craving something uplifting. It was nice to see goodness played out in someone's life, whether it be my own or another person's. Maybe I just needed an extra dose of Christmas cheer...or a good laugh, for that matter. Truthfully, I don't know why these movies sucked me in. But I was hooked and I have a feeling this may very well become a new Christmas tradition for me.

I remember riding in the car with my mom last Christmas feeling at an all time low. It wasn't so much that Christmas itself was hard, it was all that went along with the season. The cheer, the office parties, the Christmas activities, all things I was not participating in that year. I love Christmas, I really do. I mean who doesn't?! But I wasn't so crazy about it last year. I will, once again, give my family credit as they do a fabulous job of making anything fun. But it wasn't as fun as all of the other years because there was this sad undertone. And I felt it was my fault, once again. My fault for creating a depressing environment, and although we still had a great time, it's hard to enjoy yourself when you realize everyone in the room feels sorry for you and isn't quite sure how to act around you. Anyhow, I was having a Brittnye pity party as my mom and I were driving back to my house one night. I still remember the conversation we were having, and I even remember exactly where we driving. Poor me, my holiday season was ruined. Poor me, this was really bad timing and now the holidays would never be the same again. Poor me. And so my mom said, "I know this Christmas isn't what you were hoping for or wanting, but I can guarantee you that next Christmas is going to be wonderful." I didn't disagree with her but neither one of us really knew what all that statement of faith held. After all, that was a pretty bold proclamation at the time. What we did know is that we weren't going to be facing the same trials next year, that it would all be over by then, and that in itself was going to be good. We knew that things would look completely different, we just didn't know how.

Well, my mom was right. It's not Christmas yet, but the holiday season is upon us. Already, it is off to a wonderful start. In fact, this is not at all what I expected or even had in mind, rather, it's better!And so I am looking forward to the holidays this year. I couldn't be more ready or more excited to celebrate because I have a lot to celebrate, a lot to give thanks for, a lot to be cheerful and merry about. And I'm grateful for the opportunity to experience these seasons once again. Thankful that it looks completely different from last year. Thankful that joy will prevalent and that pity and sympathy are no where to be found. Thankful for a mom who always looks on the bright side of things and makes bold statements in faith because she knows we serve a God who will bring us full circle if we just let Him. And that is exactly what He has done for me. From one holiday season to the next, all has come full circle.

 #303 - Because He has brought me full circle!

"The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." - Psalm 28:7

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