Reason #232

The start of a new month, and as each month passes, I have found that joy grows. I realized that I am entering into the season that was the turning point in my life, the dark part of my story. It seems as if last September was just yesterday. I remember the last season of 2011 all too well. But here's the thing I noticed and made mention of today as I spoke with my mom. My mind has started to forget. Now, will it ever completely forget? No. But as time has gone on, as my surroundings have changed, some times I forget. Maybe it's because I've been intentional to focus my thoughts elsewhere, maybe it's because I have a lot to think about now, or maybe it's just simply because of the good that is flooding my life and taking up space so that the bad has no place to reside. Who knows?! But what I do know is that I am thankful for another new month.

The Lord has used music as a way to minister to and soothe my soul. I can't even count the number of times He would quiet my heart with a song. I would feel discouraged, upset, sad, hurt and a song would come on that would lift my spirit. The right words at the right time. Truthfully, I spent most of my time listening to music. I didn't like the silence, and I didn't like thinking. The good thing about music is that a song can easily get stuck in your head, and that was often my case. So in my office, in the car, at my house, the radio was playing. I sat in my office on Friday and I heard a new song. I made a point to stop and listen to the words. I scribbled the chorus down on my note pad so that I could be sure and look for the song later when I got home. The song played once again before I left for the day, and the chorus has been stuck in my head sense then.

 

After all, you are constant.

After all, you are only good.

After all, you are sovereign.

Not for a moment, will you forsake me.

 

 

And as I listened to this song, my heart just rejoiced as it was such a beautiful reminder of the Lord's love and care for me. I felt like these could have been my own words. I remember last fall telling my mom that if there was a ever a doubt in my mind about how much the Lord loves me, if there was ever a time when I questioned His presence in my life, if there was ever a moment when I wondered if He really cared, well, now I knew the answer to all of those. Because as I walked through the most difficult season of my life, never once did I feel abandoned by the Lord. Never once did He leave my side. And I see it even more now because I've got 11 months to look back over. If it weren't for the fact that He is constant, that He is only good, that He is sovereign, I wouldn't have 232 things to blog about. If it weren't for the fact that He loves me so dearly, cares about me so deeply and is ever present, I wouldn't have a story worth telling. Because here's what I learned. After it all, He was still there. After it all, He brought so much good. After it all, He was still the Lord and as mighty as ever. And although there are the days I wish I could re-write history, although there are the moments I would like to edit, I can't help but be grateful that I serve a God who, after all is said and done, can craft something beautiful from such a disaster. And I don't know why I should be surprised by this because He is God, after all!

 

#232 - Because He is only good!

 

"I will sing to the Lord because he is good to me." - Psalm 13:6