Reason #415
I am glad God isn't limited. I'm glad He can't be boxed in, either. I'm thankful He's not required to show up in a certain way or form, that there isn't just one method He uses to speak to us. And I'm thankful that there's not just one time or day or place that I have to be in order to meet with Him.
I woke up from a nap feeling a little grumpy and I stood in my closet trying to pick out a couple of outfits for engagement pictures this weekend. I am exhausted beyond belief and I can't seem to get any rest. No matter how good my intention are, I stay tired. In fact, I'm so tired that I am not even tired half of the time. I feel like the sandman and father time both have it out for me right now, and I thought my little nap would help but I was wrong. And so I looked for a few minutes and felt completely frustrated. In a closet packed full of clothes, I felt like I didn't have a thing to wear. I needed something new. I couldn't find anything I liked even though I have handpicked every single item in there. And so I managed to pull a few things from the racks, shut the door, and decided I'd just deal with it later.
I've got so much on my mind and in my heart that, sometimes, I don't even know where to start. Sometimes, I don't even know what needs to be addressed first. But the good thing is that God knows. He knows what we need to talk about first and what needs to be taken care of ASAP. Tonight I sat in my living room and His spirit was heavy. I love those moments where, in the silence, you can feel Him. So tangibly, His spirit surrounded me and I couldn't deny what He was asking me to deal with. The irony was a real kicker.
I was reading through my Ruth bible study and it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was what I needed to hear. This was what I have been struggling with for months and months, and I haven't figured out why or how to fix it. I love being transparent with you, but I realize my transparency can be downright depressing some days. It should be no surprise that I struggle with how I view myself. It should be no shock that I am more apt to believe lies instead of truth. And so, in this particular season that I am in, God has been exposing that to me in really uncomfortable ways. I've been asked to do things I don't feel comfortable doing, and although it makes no sense to anyone else as to why this would bother me, it makes total sense to me. And that in itself has bothered me even more. So I've been praying and asking for help with this, and I never imagined I'd find what I needed to hear in the middle of Ruth's story...or in my wardrobe.
One day Naomi said to Ruth, “My daughter, it’s time that I found a permanent home for you, so that you will be provided for. Boaz is a close relative of ours, and he’s been very kind by letting you gather grain with his young women. Tonight he will be winnowing barley at the threshing floor. Now do as I tell you—take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor... "- Ruth 3:1-3
Ruth put on new clothes. Finally, taking off her clothing of mourning and dressing as a new woman. A new outfit, a change. Something different, but it was time. It was time for her to shed the old clothes that were weighing her down and were a constant reminder of her old self. Get rid of them completely. She removed them and she put on her nicest clothes. This was Ruth at her best. Now, I don't know if she felt her best or not, but she looked it. And, being a woman, when you do feel like you look your best, it helps. Liking your outfit can really do wonders for your day. Anyhow, this marked the beginning of something new for Ruth. She was about to lay her heart out there again and take a big risk. She had already faced a devastating loss once, and it would have been easier to have just kept to herself after that. Because if you let no one else in, you don't have to ever worry about that happening again. And, I have to believe Ruth dealt a little with shame and insecurity, too. She's human after all. So, she's facing potential rejection and that, coupled with a heart that is healing, can make for a catastrophic situation. But Ruth did as she was told. She shed her old clothing completely, put on the new, and she went. In full faith, she took this risk because she felt the reward outweighed it.
And as I read through this lesson, I was challenged to search my heart and see what God was asking me to do. Here it is, plain and simple. Completely change my clothes (but not literally speaking). You see, I've been Ruth. I've worn my condeming, shameful outfit for too long. I've slowly shed layers here and there, but I've left things. I've put new things on to try and cover up those old layers so they don't show, but the fact of the matter is, they are still there. Layers that weigh me down. Layers that remind me of the old me. Of the labels I've given myself, of the shame I deal with, of the guilt and the embarrassment I carry around. Layers that haunt me and keep me from fully experiencing the joy of a second chance, a new life. And so it's time to shed these clothes. To completely pull them off and get rid of them. It's time to let Him clothe me in His righetousness and truth. To layer on mercy and grace, forgiveness, redemption, healing and restoration. To wear something beautiful and reflective of the God I serve. Because He's not a God of the "has been." He is a God who allows things for a reason and then works those things together for our good.
And so yes, it is a risk but truthfully, God doesn't ask us to risk anything that He won't reward. It's scary, it's a little difficult, but it's necessary. The time is here! We can't keep carrying around our old selves in our new lives. My pastor made a comment a few weeks ago and said, "Allow God the creativity to do new things in your life." And so I'm trying. I'm trying to be proud of the things He is giving me to wear. I'm trying to be brave and sport this new outfit even though it requires a lot of work somedays. But how simple He is making it to me. Just remove it, don't keep wearing it, and put on the new. And I'm so thankful that He not only met with me tonight to tell me this, but that He each day as He is walking me through this, He is peeling away the old and clothing me with good things, beautiful things, and lasting things.
#415 - Because He has given me a new wardrobe.
"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony." - Colossians 3:13-14
I woke up from a nap feeling a little grumpy and I stood in my closet trying to pick out a couple of outfits for engagement pictures this weekend. I am exhausted beyond belief and I can't seem to get any rest. No matter how good my intention are, I stay tired. In fact, I'm so tired that I am not even tired half of the time. I feel like the sandman and father time both have it out for me right now, and I thought my little nap would help but I was wrong. And so I looked for a few minutes and felt completely frustrated. In a closet packed full of clothes, I felt like I didn't have a thing to wear. I needed something new. I couldn't find anything I liked even though I have handpicked every single item in there. And so I managed to pull a few things from the racks, shut the door, and decided I'd just deal with it later.
I've got so much on my mind and in my heart that, sometimes, I don't even know where to start. Sometimes, I don't even know what needs to be addressed first. But the good thing is that God knows. He knows what we need to talk about first and what needs to be taken care of ASAP. Tonight I sat in my living room and His spirit was heavy. I love those moments where, in the silence, you can feel Him. So tangibly, His spirit surrounded me and I couldn't deny what He was asking me to deal with. The irony was a real kicker.
I was reading through my Ruth bible study and it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was what I needed to hear. This was what I have been struggling with for months and months, and I haven't figured out why or how to fix it. I love being transparent with you, but I realize my transparency can be downright depressing some days. It should be no surprise that I struggle with how I view myself. It should be no shock that I am more apt to believe lies instead of truth. And so, in this particular season that I am in, God has been exposing that to me in really uncomfortable ways. I've been asked to do things I don't feel comfortable doing, and although it makes no sense to anyone else as to why this would bother me, it makes total sense to me. And that in itself has bothered me even more. So I've been praying and asking for help with this, and I never imagined I'd find what I needed to hear in the middle of Ruth's story...or in my wardrobe.
One day Naomi said to Ruth, “My daughter, it’s time that I found a permanent home for you, so that you will be provided for. Boaz is a close relative of ours, and he’s been very kind by letting you gather grain with his young women. Tonight he will be winnowing barley at the threshing floor. Now do as I tell you—take a bath and put on perfume and dress in your nicest clothes. Then go to the threshing floor... "- Ruth 3:1-3
Ruth put on new clothes. Finally, taking off her clothing of mourning and dressing as a new woman. A new outfit, a change. Something different, but it was time. It was time for her to shed the old clothes that were weighing her down and were a constant reminder of her old self. Get rid of them completely. She removed them and she put on her nicest clothes. This was Ruth at her best. Now, I don't know if she felt her best or not, but she looked it. And, being a woman, when you do feel like you look your best, it helps. Liking your outfit can really do wonders for your day. Anyhow, this marked the beginning of something new for Ruth. She was about to lay her heart out there again and take a big risk. She had already faced a devastating loss once, and it would have been easier to have just kept to herself after that. Because if you let no one else in, you don't have to ever worry about that happening again. And, I have to believe Ruth dealt a little with shame and insecurity, too. She's human after all. So, she's facing potential rejection and that, coupled with a heart that is healing, can make for a catastrophic situation. But Ruth did as she was told. She shed her old clothing completely, put on the new, and she went. In full faith, she took this risk because she felt the reward outweighed it.
And as I read through this lesson, I was challenged to search my heart and see what God was asking me to do. Here it is, plain and simple. Completely change my clothes (but not literally speaking). You see, I've been Ruth. I've worn my condeming, shameful outfit for too long. I've slowly shed layers here and there, but I've left things. I've put new things on to try and cover up those old layers so they don't show, but the fact of the matter is, they are still there. Layers that weigh me down. Layers that remind me of the old me. Of the labels I've given myself, of the shame I deal with, of the guilt and the embarrassment I carry around. Layers that haunt me and keep me from fully experiencing the joy of a second chance, a new life. And so it's time to shed these clothes. To completely pull them off and get rid of them. It's time to let Him clothe me in His righetousness and truth. To layer on mercy and grace, forgiveness, redemption, healing and restoration. To wear something beautiful and reflective of the God I serve. Because He's not a God of the "has been." He is a God who allows things for a reason and then works those things together for our good.
And so yes, it is a risk but truthfully, God doesn't ask us to risk anything that He won't reward. It's scary, it's a little difficult, but it's necessary. The time is here! We can't keep carrying around our old selves in our new lives. My pastor made a comment a few weeks ago and said, "Allow God the creativity to do new things in your life." And so I'm trying. I'm trying to be proud of the things He is giving me to wear. I'm trying to be brave and sport this new outfit even though it requires a lot of work somedays. But how simple He is making it to me. Just remove it, don't keep wearing it, and put on the new. And I'm so thankful that He not only met with me tonight to tell me this, but that He each day as He is walking me through this, He is peeling away the old and clothing me with good things, beautiful things, and lasting things.
#415 - Because He has given me a new wardrobe.
"Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony." - Colossians 3:13-14
Comments
Post a Comment