Reason #435
My right eye has this strange thing going on. It's like a permanent leak or something. Anyhow, it's really bothering me. It looks like I'm on the verge of crying and my eye lashes keep sticking together. Truthfully, it's a little gross. And when my body is stressed, I get these huge red knots on my neck that take weeks to disappear. I have a few of them right now. They bother me, too. And so many times, I look at myself in the mirror and I don't like what I see. You know, they say pictures don't lie. When I look at myself in a photograph, I feel like I don't look like myself. I remember my dad telling me one time that we feel we look differently in photos than in person because when we look at ourselves in person, we're looking at the inside, too. Maybe that has more to do with it than we think, some times.
Aaron and I sat through day 2 of our pre-maritial seminar this morning and it was interesting how God used the time to teach me more about myself than anything. We watched a few videos, one about the pressure of keeping up with the Jones'. The lady made a freeing statement by saying, "On the cross, when He said it was finished, it meant that you instantly became perfect before you were even born." I've never thought of this before. It is finished. The entaglement of sin, the bondage of lies, the hopelessness of guilt and shame were over because we were forgiven and made spotless and blameless the moment He breathed His last. And so this thought stayed with me as I jotted it down in my workbook. We continued on about marriage and finances and all of those lovely categories you should attempt to touch on before saying "I do" and we ended with a video about a man's prayer to look more like God.
Half way into the video tears were pouring down my face. This was exactly what my heart needed to hear. A heart that so often is displeased with what it sees. A heart that feels it will never get there. If only I could change this, do this differently, stop such and such, make this a habit. If I could be better here, be stronger there, more determined, more committed, more involved and so the list grows. But the thing is, I really am never going to get there. I'm never going to satisfy any of those things because I'm trying too hard to do it by myself. And the truth of the matter is, just like the guy in the video, I don't always see value in myself. Why would God want to help me after seeing the real me? Why would He want to use me? Why would God want to take the time to listen to my selfish pleas? There are so many other important things He could be tending to. Seems maybe His time might be better spent elsewhere. But the Skit Guy said it well when He said, "God doesn't make junk." I don't know about you, but this made my heart soar! If God took the time to create me exactly the way I am, if He saw it fit to breathe life into my lungs, then He thinks I am valuable. And if God has continued to keep my heart beating for 25 years, then He has a reason and purpose for that. He sees the real me, knows me better than I know myself, and yet He still stops to take the time to work on me rather than leaving me in my broken, confused, tainted state. That would seem to be the easiest way out, but God's not one to take the easy way out and I'm so grateful for that.
So my heart has been blessed all day as God has continued to remind me, through many different ways, that I am valuable. I am worth it, not worthless. And what a sweet thing to know that the One who is worthy would deem me worthy, too.
#435 - Because God love us too much to take the easy way out.
"I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith." - Philippians 3:7-9
Aaron and I sat through day 2 of our pre-maritial seminar this morning and it was interesting how God used the time to teach me more about myself than anything. We watched a few videos, one about the pressure of keeping up with the Jones'. The lady made a freeing statement by saying, "On the cross, when He said it was finished, it meant that you instantly became perfect before you were even born." I've never thought of this before. It is finished. The entaglement of sin, the bondage of lies, the hopelessness of guilt and shame were over because we were forgiven and made spotless and blameless the moment He breathed His last. And so this thought stayed with me as I jotted it down in my workbook. We continued on about marriage and finances and all of those lovely categories you should attempt to touch on before saying "I do" and we ended with a video about a man's prayer to look more like God.
Half way into the video tears were pouring down my face. This was exactly what my heart needed to hear. A heart that so often is displeased with what it sees. A heart that feels it will never get there. If only I could change this, do this differently, stop such and such, make this a habit. If I could be better here, be stronger there, more determined, more committed, more involved and so the list grows. But the thing is, I really am never going to get there. I'm never going to satisfy any of those things because I'm trying too hard to do it by myself. And the truth of the matter is, just like the guy in the video, I don't always see value in myself. Why would God want to help me after seeing the real me? Why would He want to use me? Why would God want to take the time to listen to my selfish pleas? There are so many other important things He could be tending to. Seems maybe His time might be better spent elsewhere. But the Skit Guy said it well when He said, "God doesn't make junk." I don't know about you, but this made my heart soar! If God took the time to create me exactly the way I am, if He saw it fit to breathe life into my lungs, then He thinks I am valuable. And if God has continued to keep my heart beating for 25 years, then He has a reason and purpose for that. He sees the real me, knows me better than I know myself, and yet He still stops to take the time to work on me rather than leaving me in my broken, confused, tainted state. That would seem to be the easiest way out, but God's not one to take the easy way out and I'm so grateful for that.
So my heart has been blessed all day as God has continued to remind me, through many different ways, that I am valuable. I am worth it, not worthless. And what a sweet thing to know that the One who is worthy would deem me worthy, too.
#435 - Because God love us too much to take the easy way out.
"I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ and become one with him. I no longer count on my own righteousness through obeying the law; rather, I become righteous through faith in Christ. For God’s way of making us right with himself depends on faith." - Philippians 3:7-9
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