Reason #479
It's raining... finally! The bad news is that the forecast for the week has changed again. The good news is that the forecast for the week changes every day. And so I praise the Lord for sending us a much needed shower, and I really do hope that this isn't the only one He has in store for us.
Four days out, people. Four days. I have spent the last 5 months thinking about and planning Friday. It has consumed my time, especially over the past few weeks. I have picked out colors, flowers, dresses, suits, ties, cake, decorations, food, music, invitations, save the dates, venues, hair styles, make up, pictures, photographers, etc. etc. etc. And, as much as I was bound and determined that this was going to be a low-key, really easy, simple wedding, it has still brought on stress. I can't even imagine the amount of stress I would be under right now had I decided otherwise. It's "your day" they tell you. What that means is you get to make every single decision and give your stamp of approval on everything, therefore providing you with the opportunity to carry a large amount of anxiety along the way mixed in with a dose of exhaustion. Because you are working your little heart out to make sure everything goes as planned. Making sure every detail is in place, every one knows what they are supposed to be doing, when they are supposed to be doing it, how they are supposed to actually do it, and what they should wear. And, you are required to have this down for every single person attending. So you end up caring a whole lot and spending a small fortune on a single day that will go down in your history. A day that you will tell your children about. A day that you've dreamt about, and so you just want it to be perfect. Maybe that is asking too much.
I don't think I'm alone in this boat. I have yet to meet one woman who has told me that her wedding planning was stress free. I have yet to meet someone who didn't deal with anxiety and a full range of emotions during this time, either. Because if you aren't putting pressure on yourself, it's coming from somewhere else. Maybe it's pinterest (thanks for your ideas and guilt trips), maybe it's society in general, and maybe it's unrealized pressure. Either way, it never helps decrease your stress when you potentially see some of your ideas getting washed down the drain. Queue rain.
I wrote about rain a few days ago. Two of my girlfriends told me that rain on your wedding day is good luck, so since they both said it at different times, I know they weren't just throwing it in there to make me feel better. At any rate, rain was not factored into my wedding planning. I actually felt May was going to be the best month because it's usually really nice in May - not cold and rainy. Yet the fact that the forecast shows rain all week does not provide me with any relief. But here's the deal. I am so thankful for rain. I am not so excited about altering my plans. I am not looking forward to puddle jumping in a wedding dress. But when it comes to this, it doesn't really matter what I want. Maybe you've yet to plan a wedding, and I mean PLAN the entire wedding, and so you think, "Oh, Brittnye, you're being dramatic." Well, maybe you've had big plans before. Maybe it was a project at work or a special event that you spent countless hours of work and thought on as well as a few months worth of pay and the next thing you know, an uncontrollable factor sweeps in at the last minute and changes it. You can't do a thing about it other than roll with it. Don't tell me you wouldn't feel a little irked, too. But, it's 11:35PM, I've had a long day, and I'm really, really tired. Sleepy-tired, tired of planning and doing, tired of thinking and tying up loose ends, tired of answering 1 millions questions, and I'm ready for a break. And so rain or sun, this time next week I'll be sitting on the beach.
That's kind of how life is, and I'm still working on figuring out how to roll with the punches. Truthfully, things hardly ever go according to plan, anyway. And the beauty of it is that really, I'm going to be the only one who will know and remember all of these little details anyway. And although people say really sweet things like, "it's your day, it's all about you today..." it's really not. It's a nice thought to think, and it's the thing to say to a bride, but by the time her wedding actually rolls around each bride knows deep down that your wedding day is not just about you. May 10th is not about me. May 10, 2013 was planned out long before I was born. The details were intentionally set in place and whatever happens will happen. May 10, 2013 is a day that the Lord has made, and so regardless, I will rejoice in be glad in it. Because on Friday, I get to celebrate a big thing that God has done in my life. And sure, I've mapped it out and planned for months, but none of that changes what God has done. Doesn't make it and better, doesn't make it any worse. I'm just grateful that it's finally here. It's within reach, and my prayer is that more than anything, on May 10th people would not just see details and decorations, but that they would see God's love, God's miracles, and God's perfect planning.
One day. I've just had to plan out one day. He plans out each one, every single day. I'm glad that's not my job. And one day, future-child will plan a wedding. Future-child will feel the stress and anxiety and I'm going to say to him/her, "you've picked this day out to celebrate, but it's not just about you. It's about what God has done in your life." And maybe if we looked at things from a Heavenly perspective rather than an internal perspective, that would make a world of difference. But either way, May 10th is only days away and I'll celebrate my little heart out no matter what the Lord has in store. Rain or shine, we'll make it work because His plans are greater than mine.
#479 - Because rain or shine, nothing discards God's perfect planning.
"This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24
Four days out, people. Four days. I have spent the last 5 months thinking about and planning Friday. It has consumed my time, especially over the past few weeks. I have picked out colors, flowers, dresses, suits, ties, cake, decorations, food, music, invitations, save the dates, venues, hair styles, make up, pictures, photographers, etc. etc. etc. And, as much as I was bound and determined that this was going to be a low-key, really easy, simple wedding, it has still brought on stress. I can't even imagine the amount of stress I would be under right now had I decided otherwise. It's "your day" they tell you. What that means is you get to make every single decision and give your stamp of approval on everything, therefore providing you with the opportunity to carry a large amount of anxiety along the way mixed in with a dose of exhaustion. Because you are working your little heart out to make sure everything goes as planned. Making sure every detail is in place, every one knows what they are supposed to be doing, when they are supposed to be doing it, how they are supposed to actually do it, and what they should wear. And, you are required to have this down for every single person attending. So you end up caring a whole lot and spending a small fortune on a single day that will go down in your history. A day that you will tell your children about. A day that you've dreamt about, and so you just want it to be perfect. Maybe that is asking too much.
I don't think I'm alone in this boat. I have yet to meet one woman who has told me that her wedding planning was stress free. I have yet to meet someone who didn't deal with anxiety and a full range of emotions during this time, either. Because if you aren't putting pressure on yourself, it's coming from somewhere else. Maybe it's pinterest (thanks for your ideas and guilt trips), maybe it's society in general, and maybe it's unrealized pressure. Either way, it never helps decrease your stress when you potentially see some of your ideas getting washed down the drain. Queue rain.
I wrote about rain a few days ago. Two of my girlfriends told me that rain on your wedding day is good luck, so since they both said it at different times, I know they weren't just throwing it in there to make me feel better. At any rate, rain was not factored into my wedding planning. I actually felt May was going to be the best month because it's usually really nice in May - not cold and rainy. Yet the fact that the forecast shows rain all week does not provide me with any relief. But here's the deal. I am so thankful for rain. I am not so excited about altering my plans. I am not looking forward to puddle jumping in a wedding dress. But when it comes to this, it doesn't really matter what I want. Maybe you've yet to plan a wedding, and I mean PLAN the entire wedding, and so you think, "Oh, Brittnye, you're being dramatic." Well, maybe you've had big plans before. Maybe it was a project at work or a special event that you spent countless hours of work and thought on as well as a few months worth of pay and the next thing you know, an uncontrollable factor sweeps in at the last minute and changes it. You can't do a thing about it other than roll with it. Don't tell me you wouldn't feel a little irked, too. But, it's 11:35PM, I've had a long day, and I'm really, really tired. Sleepy-tired, tired of planning and doing, tired of thinking and tying up loose ends, tired of answering 1 millions questions, and I'm ready for a break. And so rain or sun, this time next week I'll be sitting on the beach.
That's kind of how life is, and I'm still working on figuring out how to roll with the punches. Truthfully, things hardly ever go according to plan, anyway. And the beauty of it is that really, I'm going to be the only one who will know and remember all of these little details anyway. And although people say really sweet things like, "it's your day, it's all about you today..." it's really not. It's a nice thought to think, and it's the thing to say to a bride, but by the time her wedding actually rolls around each bride knows deep down that your wedding day is not just about you. May 10th is not about me. May 10, 2013 was planned out long before I was born. The details were intentionally set in place and whatever happens will happen. May 10, 2013 is a day that the Lord has made, and so regardless, I will rejoice in be glad in it. Because on Friday, I get to celebrate a big thing that God has done in my life. And sure, I've mapped it out and planned for months, but none of that changes what God has done. Doesn't make it and better, doesn't make it any worse. I'm just grateful that it's finally here. It's within reach, and my prayer is that more than anything, on May 10th people would not just see details and decorations, but that they would see God's love, God's miracles, and God's perfect planning.
One day. I've just had to plan out one day. He plans out each one, every single day. I'm glad that's not my job. And one day, future-child will plan a wedding. Future-child will feel the stress and anxiety and I'm going to say to him/her, "you've picked this day out to celebrate, but it's not just about you. It's about what God has done in your life." And maybe if we looked at things from a Heavenly perspective rather than an internal perspective, that would make a world of difference. But either way, May 10th is only days away and I'll celebrate my little heart out no matter what the Lord has in store. Rain or shine, we'll make it work because His plans are greater than mine.
#479 - Because rain or shine, nothing discards God's perfect planning.
"This is the day the Lord has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it." - Psalm 118:24
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