Reason #482
The Tylenol PM did not work last night. My eyes popped open at 7:00AM after 6 short hours of sleep. I decided that if I read a little I could probably fall back asleep. Two and half hours later, I had finished my book. Who am I kidding? I couldn't go back to sleep. My heart felt like it was about to pop out of my chest the moment my eyes opened. And so today has been quite the day for me.
Once I finished my book, I hopped out of bed and got to work. I wish I had this much adrenaline pumping through my veins everyday. I'd be a force to reckon with. Thankfully, I decided to take the day off from work. I really can't believe I even had to think about that, but it was a good decision in the end. My parents came by and we got busy working on wedding details. From 10:00 to 6:00 we worked. At 6:00PM, my mom and I quickly changed clothes and we were off to the rehearsal. Thirty minutes flew by and it was time to start. Before we began, our friend, Duane, who is marrying us, said a prayer. I didn't know it at the time, but my mom just happened to be standing behind me. I closed my eyes and I felt her wrap her arms around my shoulders. I stood there, surrounded by my closest friends and family, and my heart was overwhelmed. Because not too terribly long ago, I showed up at my parents house at 2:00AM in pajamas. I sat on the couch and cried my eyes out in fear and disbelief, and my mom wrapped her arms around me that night. Broken, hurting, terrified, disappointed. It wasn't the only time she did that either. And the fact that she was now doing the exact same thing at one of the most joyous moments in my life caused my heart to swell with gratitude. Full circle, and some days I can hardly believe it.
The rehearsal flew by and the dinner did, too. Aaron and I finally had a few moments alone in the parking lot after everyone had left. It was chilly and windy, and the storm is moving in, but I could have stayed there all night. With his arms wrapped around me, keeping me warm, we talked about tomorrow. About the fact that the next time he sees me, I'll be walking towards him in a wedding dress. About the fact that the next time we kiss, it will be as husband and wife. It was one of those really precious moments that you store in your memory bank, you know. Those moments you don't forget and would freeze the time if you could. As I drove away, I praised the Lord for this. For these moments, for every single thing that has lead up to this. Because tomorrow really is the day I have been praying for for all of my life, and tomorrow is coming quickly.
I feel like I could type until my fingers fall off tonight and still not get out everything I want to say. Yet, at the very same time, I'm having a hard time even putting my thoughts into words tonight. God has showered me with blessings today in such an incredible way, and I just can't believe that this is how things are turning out. Can you? I mean really, did you think God would do it this way? I cried as I read the last few chapters of my book this morning and saw God's goodness. My heart was overwhelmed as my mom wrapped me up and I was reminded of God's mercy. As I stood in the dark parking lot with my husband-to-be, I couldn't stop smiling because I was reminded of God's love for me. And I can't thank Him enough for this. For allowing me to do this. For not only giving me a second chance but for giving me more than I deserve. For wrapping me up and holding me close every single day of this journey thus far. It hasn't been easy. I've had really difficult days, days where I could hardly breathe, days where getting out of bed seemed too much. Days where I just wished He would come back already so that I didn't have to feel heavy-hearted anymore. And I've been forced to face a lot of things about myself, about what I truly believe, about God and how He works. I 've been stretched and challenged and refined more than I thought I could handle. Yet God has done so many wonderful things for me that I can't really complain.
One of my sweet girlfriends texted me this morning and she said "God is about to do some MORE wonderful things in your life." That's the truth. The key word is more. Because it doesn't stop here, and aren't you so thankful we serve a God like that? A God who is so good to keep giving us more and more and more and when we think we've already reached the best point, there's still more to come? I am. I am so thankful that God does not limit His blessings but rather pours them out generously. And so I don't know why He picked me. I'll never understand why He is being so gracious to allow me to marry Aaron. I don't know why He has chosen to work the way He has, but I am certainly not going to question Him. I'm going to gladly accept it. Praise Him for it. Thank Him and continue to lean on Him. Because whether it's really good or really bad, I need Him just as much. And I'm so grateful that we get to stand before Him and our loved ones tomorrow and be living testimonies of how good He is. Great is the Lord, and worthy of all our praise!
#482 - Because He just keeps doing more wonderful things!
"Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. Remember the wonders he has performed..." - 1 Chronicles 16:8-12
Once I finished my book, I hopped out of bed and got to work. I wish I had this much adrenaline pumping through my veins everyday. I'd be a force to reckon with. Thankfully, I decided to take the day off from work. I really can't believe I even had to think about that, but it was a good decision in the end. My parents came by and we got busy working on wedding details. From 10:00 to 6:00 we worked. At 6:00PM, my mom and I quickly changed clothes and we were off to the rehearsal. Thirty minutes flew by and it was time to start. Before we began, our friend, Duane, who is marrying us, said a prayer. I didn't know it at the time, but my mom just happened to be standing behind me. I closed my eyes and I felt her wrap her arms around my shoulders. I stood there, surrounded by my closest friends and family, and my heart was overwhelmed. Because not too terribly long ago, I showed up at my parents house at 2:00AM in pajamas. I sat on the couch and cried my eyes out in fear and disbelief, and my mom wrapped her arms around me that night. Broken, hurting, terrified, disappointed. It wasn't the only time she did that either. And the fact that she was now doing the exact same thing at one of the most joyous moments in my life caused my heart to swell with gratitude. Full circle, and some days I can hardly believe it.
The rehearsal flew by and the dinner did, too. Aaron and I finally had a few moments alone in the parking lot after everyone had left. It was chilly and windy, and the storm is moving in, but I could have stayed there all night. With his arms wrapped around me, keeping me warm, we talked about tomorrow. About the fact that the next time he sees me, I'll be walking towards him in a wedding dress. About the fact that the next time we kiss, it will be as husband and wife. It was one of those really precious moments that you store in your memory bank, you know. Those moments you don't forget and would freeze the time if you could. As I drove away, I praised the Lord for this. For these moments, for every single thing that has lead up to this. Because tomorrow really is the day I have been praying for for all of my life, and tomorrow is coming quickly.
I feel like I could type until my fingers fall off tonight and still not get out everything I want to say. Yet, at the very same time, I'm having a hard time even putting my thoughts into words tonight. God has showered me with blessings today in such an incredible way, and I just can't believe that this is how things are turning out. Can you? I mean really, did you think God would do it this way? I cried as I read the last few chapters of my book this morning and saw God's goodness. My heart was overwhelmed as my mom wrapped me up and I was reminded of God's mercy. As I stood in the dark parking lot with my husband-to-be, I couldn't stop smiling because I was reminded of God's love for me. And I can't thank Him enough for this. For allowing me to do this. For not only giving me a second chance but for giving me more than I deserve. For wrapping me up and holding me close every single day of this journey thus far. It hasn't been easy. I've had really difficult days, days where I could hardly breathe, days where getting out of bed seemed too much. Days where I just wished He would come back already so that I didn't have to feel heavy-hearted anymore. And I've been forced to face a lot of things about myself, about what I truly believe, about God and how He works. I 've been stretched and challenged and refined more than I thought I could handle. Yet God has done so many wonderful things for me that I can't really complain.
One of my sweet girlfriends texted me this morning and she said "God is about to do some MORE wonderful things in your life." That's the truth. The key word is more. Because it doesn't stop here, and aren't you so thankful we serve a God like that? A God who is so good to keep giving us more and more and more and when we think we've already reached the best point, there's still more to come? I am. I am so thankful that God does not limit His blessings but rather pours them out generously. And so I don't know why He picked me. I'll never understand why He is being so gracious to allow me to marry Aaron. I don't know why He has chosen to work the way He has, but I am certainly not going to question Him. I'm going to gladly accept it. Praise Him for it. Thank Him and continue to lean on Him. Because whether it's really good or really bad, I need Him just as much. And I'm so grateful that we get to stand before Him and our loved ones tomorrow and be living testimonies of how good He is. Great is the Lord, and worthy of all our praise!
#482 - Because He just keeps doing more wonderful things!
"Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds. Exult in his holy name; rejoice, you who worship the Lord. Search for the Lord and for his strength; continually seek him. Remember the wonders he has performed..." - 1 Chronicles 16:8-12
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