Reason #573

Aaron told me that he googled me today. The moment he said it, my heart dropped and I felt nauseous. Not because I was afraid he was going to find something out about me that he didn't already know. He pretty much knows everything there is to know about me. No, my heart sank because I knew exactly what comes up when my name is googled. As grateful as I am for the internet, I also hate it because it holds so much information... forever. And so if you google me, although I haven't googled myself in a few years and don't plan on ever doing it again, you'll learn a little bit about some of my history. You'll learn that I was in a local pageant in college. You'll see that I was a cheerleader. You'll see that I have a facebook. And you'll also see that I was engaged and married, divorced, and married again.

Up until two years ago, I was never ashamed of my history. Up until that point, my life was really good. I didn't have any skeletons hanging in my closet, and there wasn't a thing about me that I wouldn't gladly share with someone. Two years ago, if someone would have googled me, the only thing they would have been surprised to find was a beauty pageant picture. But history is made every single day, and thanks to the internet, it's permanently recorded. So maybe, you're like me and you have some history you'd like to wipe away. Maybe you aren't real proud of everything you've been through. Maybe you wish there were some things in your life no one would ever have to know about. Things you could change or just simply erase. But what's done is done and you can't do anything about the past.

And so I won't lie, I cried a little. Not too much because crying only makes my eyes super puffy the next day. But it was just a really harsh reminder of the life that was and will never go away. A life that I have tried to diligently to forget, to leave in the past. A part of my life that is going to try and do its best to haunt me until the day I die. Because one day, I know my kid(s) will google me and I know what they will find. I already dread having that conversation with them. I dread the fact that I can't be like a majority of parents who would never dare share their most shameful experience with their kids, and fortunately, don't have to. Of course, I suppose if Facebook really does keep track of everything, we'll all have some type of explaining to do. Well, it just so happened that I continued on reading in Genesis today and got to the flood story. And thankfully, as I stood in my kitchen wiping away the mascara tears running down my face, the Lord reminded me of Noah.

Everything had been going so well until Adam and Eve ate that apple. All of the sudden sin was ushered into a perfectly beautiful relationship and things were permanently changed. It didn't take long for evil to run rampant, and before long things were a nightmare. And so the Lord's heart was hurt and He regretted the fact that He even made man. In fact, He was so upset by their behavior and choices that He decided He was wiping them out and starting over. This stuff was not going to fly. Yet the Lord noticed Noah. Noah had been faithful and upright, and the Lord gave Noah instructions that would save His life. If Noah would obey the Lord and do as He said, Noah would live and receive abundant blessing. And so even though it was a really strange request, and even though it required a whole lot of work, Noah built the ark just as the Lord told him.

Forty days it rained. Notice that Noah wasn't spared from the effects of the flood. Oh no, he was trapped on that boat with a whole bunch of animals and his family being thrown around in the torrential rain for 40 days. Noah had to face the flood too, but Noah wasn't overcome by the flood. No, the Lord honored Noah's faithfulness and He delivered Noah from the flood. But more than that, the Lord gave creation a fresh start. Because although things had gone seemingly well at the start, somewhere along the way it got off and never got back on track. And so the Lord erased what was so that something new could come. A second chance.

And this is what I realized tonight. Sometimes we aren't spared from the flood. Sometimes we have to face the waves, the storms, and the raging waters. Sometimes we have to get thrown around and tossed about. Because that's just life, unfortunately. We aren't promised that it will be easy, trouble free, or go as we planned. And so we just have to be like Noah and trust the Lord regardless of whether or not it's raining. We have to obey Him, listen to Him, and be faithful to Him. He could totally take us around the storm or just stop the storm, but most of the time He chooses to deliver us through it. It may take a while, be really uncomfortable, scary and painful, but eventually it stops and we have a chance to start over. We have a chance to be thankful that it has ended and better things are ahead of us. A new opportunity to get things right.

The Lord gave Noah a second chance. He honored Noah's faithfulness. He kept Him safe during the storm, spared His life, blessed Him abundantly, and used Him to bring hope and change to a new generation. And maybe I'll get to be like Noah one day too. Maybe I'll be able to share my own flood story and give hope to someone else. Because there's always a rainbow at the end of every storm, and I think that is pretty apparent in my story, too!

#573 - Because He delivers us through the storm and gives us second chances to get it right.

"And God said, “This is the sign of the covenant I am making between me and you and every living creature with you, a covenant for all generations to come: I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds,  I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.” - Genesis 9:12-16

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