Reason #810
I am helping host two showers next month, which has taken me back to this time last year. It was this time last year that I was finishing up thank you notes and mailing out invitations, and as I created address labels tonight, I didn't realize how many emotions would come along with it.
Weddings are about the girls, it's the truth. I mean really, the bride is the one who is making pretty much every decision and going to every wedding event. Usually, the groom just shows up on the wedding day wearing a suit handpicked by the bride that is often accompanied by a shade of tie he would have never chosen for himself had he been given a say. But that's okay because the wedding is about her. It's their day, but we all know it's "her" day. Her day to shine. Her day to be filled with joy. Her day to celebrate and live out that dream she's had for years. And so, for a few months, she gets smothered by generosity and love. For a few months, she gets treated like a queen because everyone is elated to be able to celebrate with her one of the most exciting times in her life.
People never expect bad things to come their way. People never imagine their fairy tale going south. For some of us, it happens. And so when Aaron and I got engaged, people were happy but it was a "weird" happy. Now, from Aaron's side, it was completely different. His friends and co-workers weren't going to find out my story until they sat in our ceremony on May 10th, but my side was a little different. My family was ecstatic, and some of my really close friends rejoiced with me. But a lot of people avoided acknowledging the fact that I was getting married. A lot of people decided they'd rather not say "Congratulations!" They didn't ask to look at my ring. They didn't run up to Aaron to meet him when they saw us walking hand in hand at church or out and about. They didn't ask "When's the date? or "Are you going to have a shower?". Maybe they fully felt I didn't deserve it. Or maybe it's because they felt awkward doing so. But trust me, as awkward as one may feel in such situations, no one felt more awkward during these interactions than I did.
And so I played off of it. I took the silence, the lack of enthusiasm and acknowledgement, and I decided they were right. I obviously didn't deserve to get to experience the same joy as any "new" bride although I can guarantee you that my engagement to Aaron was far from anything I had ever experienced. This was Aaron's first marriage, but that seemed to be overshadowed by the fact that it wasn't mine. And it hurt. I'll be honest. My heart ached because he was the most eager groom ever, and I wanted him to feel all of the love and generosity that newlyweds should feel. I wanted him to be overwhelmed with excitement from everyone we knew. Yet I quickly realized that having a big "to-do" was going to be looked down on and deemed completely improper, and so I just hoped he would understand and be okay with that.
But family is always there when you need them most, and my sister-in-law and her mother gladly asked to host a couple's shower for us. And that was one of the kindest, most generous acts that anyone did for us during that time. An absolute blessing! It was a total blast, and we were overwhelmed with support that day. A day where we got to enjoy the fun of being engaged and the excitement that comes with preparing for your life together. All couples should get to experience that regardless of what their past looks like. After all, isn't our God all about fresh starts and new beginnings?
God is so faithful and good to use His people as vessels of His love. Because before Aaron and I got engaged, He knew this issue was already on my heart. He knew I was battling with what may or may not occur because of what I had been through. He knew how it concerned me. He knew how much it meant to me to be able to fully experience everything with Aaron because, praise Jesus, I get to spend the rest of my days with Aaron. And so it was only fitting that we got to have a proper start. It was fitting that we got to enjoy it together, as it should be. And I just praise Him for laying it on my sister-in-law's sweet and caring heart so that I didn't have to worry about it for a moment.
As far as the east is from the west, so are our transgressions. Our mistakes, our pains and aches and disappointments, all of them are removed from us when we place them in God's hands. God doesn't dwell on our pasts, and so who are we to do that to ourselves or another? God is a progressive God. A God who celebrates our victories with great enthusiasm and excitement just as the prodigal son found when he returned home to his father. A God who is so gracious, full of compassion and zeal, who rejoices over His children because His love for them is so authentically genuine, so deep and so great, that He can't help but pour out immeasurable blessings over them.
#810 - For His authentically genuine, overly-zealous, truly joyous, celebratory love.
"For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him." - Psalm 103:11-13
Weddings are about the girls, it's the truth. I mean really, the bride is the one who is making pretty much every decision and going to every wedding event. Usually, the groom just shows up on the wedding day wearing a suit handpicked by the bride that is often accompanied by a shade of tie he would have never chosen for himself had he been given a say. But that's okay because the wedding is about her. It's their day, but we all know it's "her" day. Her day to shine. Her day to be filled with joy. Her day to celebrate and live out that dream she's had for years. And so, for a few months, she gets smothered by generosity and love. For a few months, she gets treated like a queen because everyone is elated to be able to celebrate with her one of the most exciting times in her life.
People never expect bad things to come their way. People never imagine their fairy tale going south. For some of us, it happens. And so when Aaron and I got engaged, people were happy but it was a "weird" happy. Now, from Aaron's side, it was completely different. His friends and co-workers weren't going to find out my story until they sat in our ceremony on May 10th, but my side was a little different. My family was ecstatic, and some of my really close friends rejoiced with me. But a lot of people avoided acknowledging the fact that I was getting married. A lot of people decided they'd rather not say "Congratulations!" They didn't ask to look at my ring. They didn't run up to Aaron to meet him when they saw us walking hand in hand at church or out and about. They didn't ask "When's the date? or "Are you going to have a shower?". Maybe they fully felt I didn't deserve it. Or maybe it's because they felt awkward doing so. But trust me, as awkward as one may feel in such situations, no one felt more awkward during these interactions than I did.
And so I played off of it. I took the silence, the lack of enthusiasm and acknowledgement, and I decided they were right. I obviously didn't deserve to get to experience the same joy as any "new" bride although I can guarantee you that my engagement to Aaron was far from anything I had ever experienced. This was Aaron's first marriage, but that seemed to be overshadowed by the fact that it wasn't mine. And it hurt. I'll be honest. My heart ached because he was the most eager groom ever, and I wanted him to feel all of the love and generosity that newlyweds should feel. I wanted him to be overwhelmed with excitement from everyone we knew. Yet I quickly realized that having a big "to-do" was going to be looked down on and deemed completely improper, and so I just hoped he would understand and be okay with that.
But family is always there when you need them most, and my sister-in-law and her mother gladly asked to host a couple's shower for us. And that was one of the kindest, most generous acts that anyone did for us during that time. An absolute blessing! It was a total blast, and we were overwhelmed with support that day. A day where we got to enjoy the fun of being engaged and the excitement that comes with preparing for your life together. All couples should get to experience that regardless of what their past looks like. After all, isn't our God all about fresh starts and new beginnings?
God is so faithful and good to use His people as vessels of His love. Because before Aaron and I got engaged, He knew this issue was already on my heart. He knew I was battling with what may or may not occur because of what I had been through. He knew how it concerned me. He knew how much it meant to me to be able to fully experience everything with Aaron because, praise Jesus, I get to spend the rest of my days with Aaron. And so it was only fitting that we got to have a proper start. It was fitting that we got to enjoy it together, as it should be. And I just praise Him for laying it on my sister-in-law's sweet and caring heart so that I didn't have to worry about it for a moment.
As far as the east is from the west, so are our transgressions. Our mistakes, our pains and aches and disappointments, all of them are removed from us when we place them in God's hands. God doesn't dwell on our pasts, and so who are we to do that to ourselves or another? God is a progressive God. A God who celebrates our victories with great enthusiasm and excitement just as the prodigal son found when he returned home to his father. A God who is so gracious, full of compassion and zeal, who rejoices over His children because His love for them is so authentically genuine, so deep and so great, that He can't help but pour out immeasurable blessings over them.
#810 - For His authentically genuine, overly-zealous, truly joyous, celebratory love.
"For his unfailing love toward those who fear him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him." - Psalm 103:11-13
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