Reason #24
Some days I struggle with feeling defeated. I feel like a failure. I think I've let everyone down and have been a huge disappointment to many. I drove to work today having my morning conversation with God and expressed these feelings to him. I feel broken, unworthy, unwanted, damaged, inadequate, insignificant, unimportant and weak. As I expressed these thoughts to him, I felt him saying, "My child, you need to be thankful." Not the response I was expecting...
1 Thessalonians 5:18 tell us that we are to "be thankful in all circumstances." In fact, as you read on, the verse tell us that this is God's will for his children. I've prayed and prayed that God's will would be done in my life and have totally missed the boat on this one. He lays it out plain and simple. His will is that I am thankful in ALL circumstances. I began to redirect our conversation and I decided I would start thanking him for my circumstances. As I began to give thanks, my feelings began to change. I also started to realize that being thankful is a choice; one that I don't choose as often as I should.
Our circumstances usually determine whether or not we're thankful. We get a gift, we're thankful. We get a promotion, we're thankful. Things are going good and we are happy, so we're thankful. We're blindsighted and we wonder what we have to be thankful for. We walk through a devastating experience and we see nothing to be thankful for. Our world is crumbling, and we don't even consider the possibility of being thankful. Why do we have to be thankful in all circumstances? Why can't we just be negative and upset in the bad ones and thankful in the good ones? Well, this morning as I was feeling negative, I began to give thanks. At first, it was a choice... but not for long.
I have to say, first of all, that I am really thankful for a God who is so gentle with me. I come to him in such a raw state of vulnerability and he never takes advantage of that. In fact, he soothes me and calms me. So, in a state of total vulnerability, I began to thank him despite my circumstances. As thankfulness poured from my lips, a lump began to form in my throat. I felt odd thanking him for what I've walked through, but as I did he shed a new light on my path and the thankfulness grew. I'll admit that I have felt sorry for myself quite often. I really didn't consider giving thanks because it didn't seem fitting. I suppose I've been going against the will of God, haven't I? So I thanked him for my brokenness and for my weakness because through these two things he's draw me close and shown me his strength like never before. I thanked him for the fact that when he looks at me, he sees more than what I see. In fact, he sees much better things than I see. I haven't wanted to walk this road. He knows that. But as I poured out thanksgiving from my heart, I realized I was thanking him for my circumstances. This was a first. I thanked him that he hasn't left me alone once as I've walked this road. I thanked him for providing for me in unusual and unexpected ways, which he continues to do each day. I thanked him for meeting my needs and not giving me exactly what I wanted. I thanked him for rescuing me and guarding me. Most of all, I thanked him for bringing me to this spot. See, it's easy to not be thankful and by doing so we miss the blessings along the way. I didn't really believe that I could be thankful for where I'm at, and some days it's a real challenge to say those words. Had I never walked this path, I would not be experiencing him like I am now and for that, I'm incredibly thankful. So, if keeping me on this path is where I need me to be so that I can experience him and be used for his glory, then I'm thankful to stay.
Reason #24 - Because he has given me a lot to be thankful for.
"Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds." - 1 Chronicles 16:8-9
1 Thessalonians 5:18 tell us that we are to "be thankful in all circumstances." In fact, as you read on, the verse tell us that this is God's will for his children. I've prayed and prayed that God's will would be done in my life and have totally missed the boat on this one. He lays it out plain and simple. His will is that I am thankful in ALL circumstances. I began to redirect our conversation and I decided I would start thanking him for my circumstances. As I began to give thanks, my feelings began to change. I also started to realize that being thankful is a choice; one that I don't choose as often as I should.
Our circumstances usually determine whether or not we're thankful. We get a gift, we're thankful. We get a promotion, we're thankful. Things are going good and we are happy, so we're thankful. We're blindsighted and we wonder what we have to be thankful for. We walk through a devastating experience and we see nothing to be thankful for. Our world is crumbling, and we don't even consider the possibility of being thankful. Why do we have to be thankful in all circumstances? Why can't we just be negative and upset in the bad ones and thankful in the good ones? Well, this morning as I was feeling negative, I began to give thanks. At first, it was a choice... but not for long.
I have to say, first of all, that I am really thankful for a God who is so gentle with me. I come to him in such a raw state of vulnerability and he never takes advantage of that. In fact, he soothes me and calms me. So, in a state of total vulnerability, I began to thank him despite my circumstances. As thankfulness poured from my lips, a lump began to form in my throat. I felt odd thanking him for what I've walked through, but as I did he shed a new light on my path and the thankfulness grew. I'll admit that I have felt sorry for myself quite often. I really didn't consider giving thanks because it didn't seem fitting. I suppose I've been going against the will of God, haven't I? So I thanked him for my brokenness and for my weakness because through these two things he's draw me close and shown me his strength like never before. I thanked him for the fact that when he looks at me, he sees more than what I see. In fact, he sees much better things than I see. I haven't wanted to walk this road. He knows that. But as I poured out thanksgiving from my heart, I realized I was thanking him for my circumstances. This was a first. I thanked him that he hasn't left me alone once as I've walked this road. I thanked him for providing for me in unusual and unexpected ways, which he continues to do each day. I thanked him for meeting my needs and not giving me exactly what I wanted. I thanked him for rescuing me and guarding me. Most of all, I thanked him for bringing me to this spot. See, it's easy to not be thankful and by doing so we miss the blessings along the way. I didn't really believe that I could be thankful for where I'm at, and some days it's a real challenge to say those words. Had I never walked this path, I would not be experiencing him like I am now and for that, I'm incredibly thankful. So, if keeping me on this path is where I need me to be so that I can experience him and be used for his glory, then I'm thankful to stay.
Reason #24 - Because he has given me a lot to be thankful for.
"Give thanks to the LORD and proclaim his greatness. Let the whole world know what he has done. Sing to him; yes, sing his praises. Tell everyone about his wonderful deeds." - 1 Chronicles 16:8-9
God is giving you much insight. I pray MANY people will begin reading your blog.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your encouragement, my anonymous friend. I'm praying the same and just hoping that he'll use me in my brokenness. I was reminded of that as I sang along with Mercy Me today..."I know there will be days when this life brings me pain, but if that's what it takes to praise you, Jesus bring the rain."
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