Reason #26
I sat down to write my entry tonight fully having an idea of what I was going to write about. In fact, I planned it out earlier in the day. I've had a rough week and was feeling a little heavy so I took a moment to listen to a song that really lifts my spirit and as I sang along, my entry for today changed.
I am a people-pleaser. Now, I'm not a pushover, but I want people to be pleased with me. I am girl with strong opinions who is not easily swayed, however, I am also very sensitive and care how people view me. I, like most people, want to be viewed in a positive light. I want people to have good thoughts of me when they hear my name. I hate the thought of letting someone down. As a child, my parents never had to spank me. All they had to do was let me know that I had disappointed them and I would punish myself for days. When I was 16, I got in a little fender bender which was very traumatic for me (I overreacted just a little bit). First off, I had just ruined my perfect driving record. Second of all, I was so worried that I was going to get a ticket. Me, a ticket?! To top it off, I was in the school parking lot so EVERYONE could see what was going on... especially since the police showed up. Oh, the horror! So, in my overreacting state, I called my dad in tears. Here's how the conversation went:
Dad: "Calm down, calm down, what happened?"
Me: "Oh dad, I've been in a WRECK!" (que the tears and hiccuping noises)
Dad: "How bad was it? What happened?"
Me: "Well, I was pulling out of my parking spot at school and I hit the car behind me." (keep the tears rolling)
Dad: "Well, are you okay?"
Me: Yes (still wailing)
Dad: "What damage did it do to the cars?"
Me: "Well, nothing happened to my car but I dented the rim above the wheel.on the other car." (sob, hiccup, sob, hiccup)
Dad: "So you aren't hurt?"
Me: "No." (just my pride because I care too much about how this looks right now)
Dad: "Do not call me again crying like that if you are not hurt."
Well, thankfully, I didn't get a ticket. A ticket would have gone on my record and that would have probably put me over the edge. I realize how silly this story is, but at the time this was really devastating. I could no longer boast of my perfect driving record, the police showed up so it "looked" like I had done something wrong, I was technically at fault, and my classmates saw. They must think I am a terrible driver... how embarrassing! I remember being so upset and asking my parents if they would just go ahead and punish me because I just knew they had to be so disappointed in me. They didn't punish me, so of course, I took the liberty of beating myself up for the next few days to even things out.
Fast forward eight years and I still feel like that same little teenage girl who is overly concerned about what people think of her and how her circumstances look. This realization came to me today as I chatted with a friend at work. I began sharing with her some of my thoughts and as I talked I realized that I am too concerned with how people view me. I know how I want to be seen and I fear that people look at me and see something totally different. The tricky part of this problem is that I can't control how every person I know views me. I have learned that you can't please everyone, however, I have attempted to try anyway. Unfortunately, I haven't been successful in my endeavors.
As I began to think about my desire to be pleasing to others, the Lord reminded me of Paul's words in Galatians 1, "I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant." I have really tried to win approval of many people throughout my life. I want my family to be proud of me, I want my boss to be impressed with my work, I want to be accepted by others, I want everyone I meet to like me, I want to win the approval of the "world" and been seen as smart, successful, attractive, fun and important. I realize I put a lot of pressure on myself and for all the wrong reasons. Why do I care more about what others think of me than what the Creator of the universe thinks of me? Why do I try to please people rather than aiming to please the King of Kings?
I'm in a circumstance where I really care about what others think of me and how it looks from the outside. I can't change my circumstances (I've tried) and have had to accept that this is a part of my story now. Today, I began to find comfort in Paul's words and realized that if I'm not living a life pleasing to the Lord, it doesn't matter who I'm pleasing. I don't need to look to others for approval because man's approval is contingent on changing factors, but God's approval is contingent on truth and brings joy and abundant life.
I was reminded of Enoch as I read Hebrews 11. The first time we meet Enoch is in Genesis. Thousands of years later, Enoch's name is brought up again. "It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying—he disappeared, because God took him. For before he was taken up, he was known as a person who pleased God." That is how I want to be known!
Reason #26 - Because his approval is all I need.
"Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts." - 1 Thessalonians 2:4
I am a people-pleaser. Now, I'm not a pushover, but I want people to be pleased with me. I am girl with strong opinions who is not easily swayed, however, I am also very sensitive and care how people view me. I, like most people, want to be viewed in a positive light. I want people to have good thoughts of me when they hear my name. I hate the thought of letting someone down. As a child, my parents never had to spank me. All they had to do was let me know that I had disappointed them and I would punish myself for days. When I was 16, I got in a little fender bender which was very traumatic for me (I overreacted just a little bit). First off, I had just ruined my perfect driving record. Second of all, I was so worried that I was going to get a ticket. Me, a ticket?! To top it off, I was in the school parking lot so EVERYONE could see what was going on... especially since the police showed up. Oh, the horror! So, in my overreacting state, I called my dad in tears. Here's how the conversation went:
Dad: "Calm down, calm down, what happened?"
Me: "Oh dad, I've been in a WRECK!" (que the tears and hiccuping noises)
Dad: "How bad was it? What happened?"
Me: "Well, I was pulling out of my parking spot at school and I hit the car behind me." (keep the tears rolling)
Dad: "Well, are you okay?"
Me: Yes (still wailing)
Dad: "What damage did it do to the cars?"
Me: "Well, nothing happened to my car but I dented the rim above the wheel.on the other car." (sob, hiccup, sob, hiccup)
Dad: "So you aren't hurt?"
Me: "No." (just my pride because I care too much about how this looks right now)
Dad: "Do not call me again crying like that if you are not hurt."
Well, thankfully, I didn't get a ticket. A ticket would have gone on my record and that would have probably put me over the edge. I realize how silly this story is, but at the time this was really devastating. I could no longer boast of my perfect driving record, the police showed up so it "looked" like I had done something wrong, I was technically at fault, and my classmates saw. They must think I am a terrible driver... how embarrassing! I remember being so upset and asking my parents if they would just go ahead and punish me because I just knew they had to be so disappointed in me. They didn't punish me, so of course, I took the liberty of beating myself up for the next few days to even things out.
Fast forward eight years and I still feel like that same little teenage girl who is overly concerned about what people think of her and how her circumstances look. This realization came to me today as I chatted with a friend at work. I began sharing with her some of my thoughts and as I talked I realized that I am too concerned with how people view me. I know how I want to be seen and I fear that people look at me and see something totally different. The tricky part of this problem is that I can't control how every person I know views me. I have learned that you can't please everyone, however, I have attempted to try anyway. Unfortunately, I haven't been successful in my endeavors.
As I began to think about my desire to be pleasing to others, the Lord reminded me of Paul's words in Galatians 1, "I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant." I have really tried to win approval of many people throughout my life. I want my family to be proud of me, I want my boss to be impressed with my work, I want to be accepted by others, I want everyone I meet to like me, I want to win the approval of the "world" and been seen as smart, successful, attractive, fun and important. I realize I put a lot of pressure on myself and for all the wrong reasons. Why do I care more about what others think of me than what the Creator of the universe thinks of me? Why do I try to please people rather than aiming to please the King of Kings?
I'm in a circumstance where I really care about what others think of me and how it looks from the outside. I can't change my circumstances (I've tried) and have had to accept that this is a part of my story now. Today, I began to find comfort in Paul's words and realized that if I'm not living a life pleasing to the Lord, it doesn't matter who I'm pleasing. I don't need to look to others for approval because man's approval is contingent on changing factors, but God's approval is contingent on truth and brings joy and abundant life.
I was reminded of Enoch as I read Hebrews 11. The first time we meet Enoch is in Genesis. Thousands of years later, Enoch's name is brought up again. "It was by faith that Enoch was taken up to heaven without dying—he disappeared, because God took him. For before he was taken up, he was known as a person who pleased God." That is how I want to be known!
Reason #26 - Because his approval is all I need.
"Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts." - 1 Thessalonians 2:4
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