Reason #29
I sat in my "Saturday Sisters" bible study this morning and was confronted with a challenging question, "Have you been in a situation before where you felt uncomfortable doing what God has called you to do?"
I have been writing about the power of words, my desire to be used in my brokenness and my concern of how others might see me. This week, God presented me with an opportunity to put my blog posts to action and I totally missed it. As I thought about the question presented this morning in bible study, this missed opportunity popped into my head and I wanted to just kick myself for not seizing it. As I've told you before, my job allows me to meet new people each week. Because I am training people how to do their job, I spend a lot of time with them. It is inevitable that I get to know each of my trainees on a personal level. I had a conversation with one of my trainees this week who shared with me that she has walked through the same wilderness I have. Of course, she shared this with me not knowing that we had this in common. I sat there and she spoke her of her circumstances and I just thought, "Really? You too? You are so sweet and kind. How could this have happened to you too?" I knew exactly how she felt. She was so honest and open with her feelings and I sat there nodding my head in understanding while my heart broke for her. There has yet to be a day that I have walked through this wilderness and NOT heard about someone who has or is also facing the same trial I am. I have to say it is very frustrating and angering. Anyhow, I sat there while she poured her heart out and I kept my mouth shut. I know, I know! I can't believe I didn't speak up either. Actually, I'm getting pretty upset with myself as I'm typing this post. I have been asking and praying for God to use me and when an opportunity comes along, I clam up. This sweet girl and I could relate perfectly to one another, however, I didn't let that connection be made. I began to ask myself why and I realized it's because I am still nervous and scared to tell my story to people who a.) don't already know or b.) won't inevitably find out. In fact, I have only shared my story with one person who didn't already know me and it was a lot more difficult that I thought it was going to be. So, here I am sitting here with the words on the tip of my tongue and pride gets in the way. I start to wonder how she might view me. "Is she going to think less of me? Is she going to treat me differently? Is she going to believe what I tell her? Seriously, Brittnye?! Enough about YOU!!!" I realized that because of my pride and shame I missed a perfectly good opportunity to share my testimony with this person. I missed out on an opportunity to tell her how awesome my Savior is. I didn't get to tell her how faithful he is, how he provides, how he's is a God of restoration, how he comforts and protects his children, how he pours his love and goodness out so richly, and how he is a God who redeems.
I've walked through life feeling a little invincible. I grew up in an incredible family who loves and serves the Lord wholeheartedly. I used to feel like I didn't have a powerful testimony. I became a Christian at the age of 7 and my life was jam-packed full of blessings and good things. I had never faced a hardship or trial. I lived a sheltered life and was surrounded by Godly people. I didn't have to tell anyone about Jesus because everyone I was around knew him. I figured if people knew me, they knew I loved the Lord thus they knew my testimony. Many are days that I wish that was still my testimony, but it's not. My testimony has changed. As I think about that, I realize that even though my testimony has changed, my Savior has not. The same God who walked with me for 24 "easy" years of life is the same God who has been walking with me for the past few, difficult months. I also see what a powerful testimony he has given me. Please do not misunderstand me, EVERY testimony is powerful. So the question becomes, "Am I ashamed of my testimony?" Am I ashamed of what God has been doing in my life? Absolutely not! I may feel ashamed of my circumstances, but when I let my pride get in the way I miss the opportunity to give him the glory. After all, it's not about me, it's all about him.
#29 - Because he has given me a testimony!
"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." - Colossians 4:5-6
I have been writing about the power of words, my desire to be used in my brokenness and my concern of how others might see me. This week, God presented me with an opportunity to put my blog posts to action and I totally missed it. As I thought about the question presented this morning in bible study, this missed opportunity popped into my head and I wanted to just kick myself for not seizing it. As I've told you before, my job allows me to meet new people each week. Because I am training people how to do their job, I spend a lot of time with them. It is inevitable that I get to know each of my trainees on a personal level. I had a conversation with one of my trainees this week who shared with me that she has walked through the same wilderness I have. Of course, she shared this with me not knowing that we had this in common. I sat there and she spoke her of her circumstances and I just thought, "Really? You too? You are so sweet and kind. How could this have happened to you too?" I knew exactly how she felt. She was so honest and open with her feelings and I sat there nodding my head in understanding while my heart broke for her. There has yet to be a day that I have walked through this wilderness and NOT heard about someone who has or is also facing the same trial I am. I have to say it is very frustrating and angering. Anyhow, I sat there while she poured her heart out and I kept my mouth shut. I know, I know! I can't believe I didn't speak up either. Actually, I'm getting pretty upset with myself as I'm typing this post. I have been asking and praying for God to use me and when an opportunity comes along, I clam up. This sweet girl and I could relate perfectly to one another, however, I didn't let that connection be made. I began to ask myself why and I realized it's because I am still nervous and scared to tell my story to people who a.) don't already know or b.) won't inevitably find out. In fact, I have only shared my story with one person who didn't already know me and it was a lot more difficult that I thought it was going to be. So, here I am sitting here with the words on the tip of my tongue and pride gets in the way. I start to wonder how she might view me. "Is she going to think less of me? Is she going to treat me differently? Is she going to believe what I tell her? Seriously, Brittnye?! Enough about YOU!!!" I realized that because of my pride and shame I missed a perfectly good opportunity to share my testimony with this person. I missed out on an opportunity to tell her how awesome my Savior is. I didn't get to tell her how faithful he is, how he provides, how he's is a God of restoration, how he comforts and protects his children, how he pours his love and goodness out so richly, and how he is a God who redeems.
I've walked through life feeling a little invincible. I grew up in an incredible family who loves and serves the Lord wholeheartedly. I used to feel like I didn't have a powerful testimony. I became a Christian at the age of 7 and my life was jam-packed full of blessings and good things. I had never faced a hardship or trial. I lived a sheltered life and was surrounded by Godly people. I didn't have to tell anyone about Jesus because everyone I was around knew him. I figured if people knew me, they knew I loved the Lord thus they knew my testimony. Many are days that I wish that was still my testimony, but it's not. My testimony has changed. As I think about that, I realize that even though my testimony has changed, my Savior has not. The same God who walked with me for 24 "easy" years of life is the same God who has been walking with me for the past few, difficult months. I also see what a powerful testimony he has given me. Please do not misunderstand me, EVERY testimony is powerful. So the question becomes, "Am I ashamed of my testimony?" Am I ashamed of what God has been doing in my life? Absolutely not! I may feel ashamed of my circumstances, but when I let my pride get in the way I miss the opportunity to give him the glory. After all, it's not about me, it's all about him.
#29 - Because he has given me a testimony!
"Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone." - Colossians 4:5-6
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