Reason #327

First Christmas party of the year was a success! Complete with Christmas sweaters, lots of cookies, white elephant gifts and an all around merry feeling. I will say that I am worn out from the excitement and I have a bit of a sugar enduced stomach ache. However, I think those are the two sure signs of a good party, right? Either that or sure signs that you're getting older.

So tomorrow is a big day for me, and I'm a bit nervous. I never know who actually reads my reasons each day, so I'm going to have to leave you in the dark for a few days concerning this. But you know me, I'll share eventually. Tomorrow is one of the days I've hoped and prayed for, but as it draws near, I don't know if I am feeling butterflies or if my stomach is just in knots. And so I start to worry and worry, as we all know, doesn't do a bit of good. Because when we worry, we begin to tell God that we are taking things back into our control. We begin to tell Him that we would like to be in charge. And the thing  is, we don't have it figured out and that's why we worry. We worry because we don't know what's to come. We worry because we know it's out of our control. We worry because we really don't have it figured out. And so, in keeping with being transparent, here's what I'm worrying about. Provision.

This is not a normal worry of mine and has only started to peek its little head lately. I'm all about budgeting. I wouldn't call myself a penny-pincher, maybe just a wise-spender. I've always been this way. I've always been a saver and try my best to live within my means. I've never done without, and truth be told, I could probably start doing without more often. But I have bills, and they come every month. Every. Single. Month. If only paychecks came as often as bills, right? Well, here's what I've learned about myself. I don't worry about everything all the time. Rather, I worry about one thing really consistently before moving on to the next. I like to focus all my worry on one thing rather than spreading it thin. And so I have become very good at pinpointing my worries and the driving forces behind them. I've come to realize that I worry about provision because I am fully responsible for every financial decision I make. I have no one backing me up, helping me out, or easing the load. No, it's on my shoulders. We live in a world full of "credit," a world that takes out loans to pay off loans. We're in debt up to our eyeballs, and we haven't seemed to learn our lesson. And here's the thing, when money is gone, it is gone. It's a lot harder to make it than it is to spend it. I do work in a bank, after all, so I've seen this first-hand. And so I start to worry because I get consumed with numbers and projections and it just seems like a lot. But I look back and I remember how God has provided for me. I look back and I see how God has taken incredible care of me. In fact, He hasn't asked me to do anything else other than let Him take care of me. He promised to do it, and He has been a man of His word. That's one of them many things I love about Him. And even if we feel like we're in it alone, we never really are. Because it's God who gives. It's God who allows. It's God who sustains. And so I have to remind myself of that. Because He's given me a lot, allowed me to have much and sustained me through a long drought.

And so here's what I have to do. Stop and praise Him. Because regardless of what happens tomorrow, He's going to take care of me. He doesn't need my help taking care of me, and truth be told, things work out better when I quit trying to do it for Him. He will provide, He always has. He will make ends meet because He knows how to do it. And so I'm grateful to serve a God like that. One who doesn't just lend but gives generously. A God who owes nothing and never runs dry. One who doesn't give with strings attached or at a high interest rate. Rather, a God who pours out blessings in abundance, giving freely to anyone who will receive. And I'm grateful He'll always take care of me, making sure I have everything I need, and even going as far to give me more so that I, too, can share in the joy of giving as well.

#327 - Because He gives us more than we need so that we can share in the joy of giving, too!

"Give as freely as you have received." - Matthew 10:8

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