Reason #640
I went on a road trip with my mom and grandmother this weekend and we had the most unusual conversation. We started talking about women, about men, about teenage boys, and we got on the topic of... pornography. I know, I just said it... like that. I apologize to all of my super conservative, Baptist lady friends. I have a hard time saying it, myself. And being 3 super conservative, Southern Baptist women, I found it unusual that this is where the conversation went. I mean who talks about that kind of stuff with their mom and grandmother? Well, if you've ever had a conversation about said topic, you know it can go a million different directions. Mostly, it depends on your gender. And so while I don't get it, while it is easy for us women to gasp, point our fingers at men and condemn them, my grandmother made a bold statement. She said, "were it not for all the bad women in the world, men wouldn't have that problem."
I know I blogged about modesty a few weeks ago after attending the first Texas Tech football game, but for some reason this topic just keeps coming up over and over and over again. Maybe it's because we're finally admitting that this is an issue, a big time issue, and so people are shedding light on it. I don't know why, but until two years ago, I would have never ever thought about this. Until two years ago, you couldn't have found a more naïve person. But the truth is, girls, we've really done ourselves in on this topic. And unfortunately, every body is having to pay for it.
I always heard boys were "visual." Once again, still don't get that. But it doesn't matter what I think or feel about that because I am a girl. We can't combine forces and change the way the male mind thinks no matter how hard we try. We can't change the fact that God made them differently than He made us. But what we can change is what they see. After all, we're the ones who are getting to decide what we show.
I've become really concerned about this one, I'll admit. Maybe it's because I have absolutely no control over anyone else besides me in that matter. I can't control the minds of other people, and I can't control what other people wear or how they chose to conduct themselves. And so I feel pretty discouraged about this topic. I mean really, turn on the TV and look at what the women are wearing. There's an entire multi-billion dollar industry that solely exists to show off skin, and skin on skin. And maybe, like me, you wonder why. Maybe you don't get it. Well, understand this. Skin is power, sex is power, and we've learned really quick that we women hold the keys to the power. All we have to do is unbutton a few buttons, unzip a zipper, shed a few layers, and we're in control.
"Were it not for the bad women..."
I realize what I'm saying here. I realize I too have the same power and can chose to exercise it at any time. I don't want to peg women as "bad," but some of us make really bad choices. I don't know about you but I want to be respected. I also respect my husband and the husbands, fiancés, boyfriends, and kind-of friends of all the other women in the world. The last thing I want is for someone to look at me the way they are supposed to be looking at their wife. And, although I'm speaking for him right now, I think it's safe to say Aaron would appreciate not having anyone else look at me the way he does. So what's the deal, then? Why do we have such a hard time with this? Is it because we're really insecure deep down? Is it because we really truly believe that the world's definition of beauty is actually attractive? Is it because we're that desperate for attention, for companionship? Is it because we want to be like everyone else? Or is it because we like the power and control that comes with it?
I hear women throw men under the bus all the time, and I've done the same thing before, too. But aren't we the ones kind of causing this mess by our actions? What if we decided this was it? What if we decided that we wanted to be viewed as people, as sisters, wives, mothers, and granddaughters, rather than objects? What if we desired to protect the eyes and hearts of the men we see everyday because we realized that this kind of stuff takes tolls on healthy relationships, on marriages, on friendships, and even on expectations? What if we understood that men don't "un-see" things so we didn't give them ideas in the first place?
Well, I have a feeling if women took a stance, if we buttoned an extra button, if we decided that we'd make sure the only other person aside from Victoria who knew our bra size was the man whose last name we took, if we valued our bodies as we should, if we treated ourselves and men with respect, if we sat like a lady, talked like a lady, and if we actually expected others to treat us like a lady, we might make a difference. We might help save marriages, maybe even yours. We might help increase the number of healthy relationships so that young men don't go into each one with unrealistic expectations. We might decrease the number of men, our very own brothers, fathers, boyfriends, and husbands, that are falling into the trap of skin. Really, have you ever thought that as a woman, simply by dressing appropriately and acting appropriately, you could change lives?
Don't be naïve, sisters. Ignorance is bliss and ignorance will break your heart. It's okay to be cute and pretty and attractive, but remember you're being watched. You're making a difference, and it's either for the better or for the worse. Think of your husband, of your dad, your son, or your brother. Think about how much you love them, about how you want the best for them. Think about how you hope to be viewed and about how you hope they view other women. And remember, you can't change the world, but you can definitely chose what you side of you it sees.
#640 - Because we have the power to change lives with our choices.
"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do." - 1 Timothy 2:9-10
I know I blogged about modesty a few weeks ago after attending the first Texas Tech football game, but for some reason this topic just keeps coming up over and over and over again. Maybe it's because we're finally admitting that this is an issue, a big time issue, and so people are shedding light on it. I don't know why, but until two years ago, I would have never ever thought about this. Until two years ago, you couldn't have found a more naïve person. But the truth is, girls, we've really done ourselves in on this topic. And unfortunately, every body is having to pay for it.
I always heard boys were "visual." Once again, still don't get that. But it doesn't matter what I think or feel about that because I am a girl. We can't combine forces and change the way the male mind thinks no matter how hard we try. We can't change the fact that God made them differently than He made us. But what we can change is what they see. After all, we're the ones who are getting to decide what we show.
I've become really concerned about this one, I'll admit. Maybe it's because I have absolutely no control over anyone else besides me in that matter. I can't control the minds of other people, and I can't control what other people wear or how they chose to conduct themselves. And so I feel pretty discouraged about this topic. I mean really, turn on the TV and look at what the women are wearing. There's an entire multi-billion dollar industry that solely exists to show off skin, and skin on skin. And maybe, like me, you wonder why. Maybe you don't get it. Well, understand this. Skin is power, sex is power, and we've learned really quick that we women hold the keys to the power. All we have to do is unbutton a few buttons, unzip a zipper, shed a few layers, and we're in control.
"Were it not for the bad women..."
I realize what I'm saying here. I realize I too have the same power and can chose to exercise it at any time. I don't want to peg women as "bad," but some of us make really bad choices. I don't know about you but I want to be respected. I also respect my husband and the husbands, fiancés, boyfriends, and kind-of friends of all the other women in the world. The last thing I want is for someone to look at me the way they are supposed to be looking at their wife. And, although I'm speaking for him right now, I think it's safe to say Aaron would appreciate not having anyone else look at me the way he does. So what's the deal, then? Why do we have such a hard time with this? Is it because we're really insecure deep down? Is it because we really truly believe that the world's definition of beauty is actually attractive? Is it because we're that desperate for attention, for companionship? Is it because we want to be like everyone else? Or is it because we like the power and control that comes with it?
I hear women throw men under the bus all the time, and I've done the same thing before, too. But aren't we the ones kind of causing this mess by our actions? What if we decided this was it? What if we decided that we wanted to be viewed as people, as sisters, wives, mothers, and granddaughters, rather than objects? What if we desired to protect the eyes and hearts of the men we see everyday because we realized that this kind of stuff takes tolls on healthy relationships, on marriages, on friendships, and even on expectations? What if we understood that men don't "un-see" things so we didn't give them ideas in the first place?
Well, I have a feeling if women took a stance, if we buttoned an extra button, if we decided that we'd make sure the only other person aside from Victoria who knew our bra size was the man whose last name we took, if we valued our bodies as we should, if we treated ourselves and men with respect, if we sat like a lady, talked like a lady, and if we actually expected others to treat us like a lady, we might make a difference. We might help save marriages, maybe even yours. We might help increase the number of healthy relationships so that young men don't go into each one with unrealistic expectations. We might decrease the number of men, our very own brothers, fathers, boyfriends, and husbands, that are falling into the trap of skin. Really, have you ever thought that as a woman, simply by dressing appropriately and acting appropriately, you could change lives?
Don't be naïve, sisters. Ignorance is bliss and ignorance will break your heart. It's okay to be cute and pretty and attractive, but remember you're being watched. You're making a difference, and it's either for the better or for the worse. Think of your husband, of your dad, your son, or your brother. Think about how much you love them, about how you want the best for them. Think about how you hope to be viewed and about how you hope they view other women. And remember, you can't change the world, but you can definitely chose what you side of you it sees.
#640 - Because we have the power to change lives with our choices.
"And I want women to be modest in their appearance. They should wear decent and appropriate clothing and not draw attention to themselves by the way they fix their hair or by wearing gold or pearls or expensive clothes. For women who claim to be devoted to God should make themselves attractive by the good things they do." - 1 Timothy 2:9-10
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