Reason #386

Wake up... drive... eat... drive... eat... drive...eat...drive... get into bed. This has been my day today. I've spent a lot of time in the car, a lot of time stuffing my face, and a lot of time talking. Today, I've been able to spend precious time with some of my favorite people. And so, although it has been a long, tiring day, it has been a wonderful day.

Tonight, I met one of my lifelong friends for dinner. We had a lovely 3 hour dinner and talked about everything under the sun. Growing up is a funny thing. I would have never imagined, 8 years ago when we were finishing high school, that we would have been having the kind of conversation we were having tonight. But what refreshing conversation it was. And how encouraged I was, too. I think we spent the last half of our time together just praising God for all He has done for us. We talked about what all we've learned over the past year or so as we've each been presented with opportunities to walk through different circumstances.

I shared with her tonight that I had began to pray this particular prayer a while back. Sometimes, you  just don't know what to pray, right? Because we get stuck praying for this one particular thing over and over and over and we just don't understand why God isn't answering accordingly. And, because we've prayed this prayer for so long, we aren't even sure how to pray about it anymore. I don't know about you, but my prayers can get pretty selfish. "God, please do this... please answer this way... please give me this... please make this happen..." I don't always come out and say it just like that, but I do in a round about way. Anyhow, scripture tells us that we can ask for anything and we should pray about everything. And so, rather than telling God what I felt He needed to do, I was challenged to pray big by saying, "God, please do this but if you choose not to, then please do something even better." In my mind, I had an idea of what the better thing was for Him to do and I really didn't think there was any way He could top that.

The interesting thing about walking through the desert is that you don't come out the same. You are forever changed. You have the option and must choose if you will be changed for the better or changed for the worse. And so, although you may feel like you don't have a choice in the matter, you really do. You can't choose how others will act but you can choose how you will react. So I kept praying this prayer, determined that something good was going to come, but the more I prayed it the less good was happening. And so I won't lie, I was pretty discouraged. Because I had full faith. His word says if our faith is just the size of a mustard seed, we can move mountains. I felt like my faith was at least the size of a sunflower seed, so something should have happened. But God was moving and working to do something better the whole time, I just didn't see it. And I began to wonder why God would answer such prayers for certain people yet wouldn't do it for me.

Well, what's best for one person isn't always best for the next and God knows that. Why wasn't God answering my prayers the way I was hoping? Because He was working on something better for me. He was doing even more than I was asking. More than I could have ever even thought, and more than I had anticipated. In fact, He was doing such a good thing that I wouldn't have dreamed of ever asking it. And, you know what, I'm so grateful I prayed that prayer. I'm so grateful I worked up the courage to ask a big thing of Him. And I don't know why I would be surprised that He would not only take on such a challenge but totally top any thing I could have ever dreamed up. And I often wonder why we don't ask big things of God more often? Why are we afraid to pray big prayers? God isn't one for mediocracy, and I think He's done a pretty good job of making that clear to me.

I shared with my sweet friend tonight that although I sometimes wish I could erase part of my story, although I wish I could have walked a different road, I'm so grateful for what God's done. I'm so grateful for what He's taught me. I'm thankful that God has shown me first-hand His might, power and capability to redeem any situation. Many are the days I still can't believe this is now my story. Many are the moments I take a step back, look at my life and say, "Wow, God! I can't believe you have done this for me! I can't believe this is actually my life! I couldn't imagine it any better!" And I'm so, so, so grateful that God doesn't just settle for good enough, for doing the minimum. I'm so thankful that He doesn't just come up with a quick fix or a solution that will do. I'm glad He allows big interruptions so that He can do incredibly big things. And I'm so grateful that all prayers don't have the same answer but rather that He answers each one accordingly. It really is for the best that what He does for others is not what He always does for me, so I'm glad I finally got smart enough to ask a big thing because it led to one of the best things that has ever happened to me!

#386 - Because He doesn't answer all prayers the same but rather answers them accordingly.

“I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it would move. Nothing would be impossible." - Matthew 17:20

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