Reason #410
When I was in Hungary last year, I was introduced to these incredible candy bars called Duplo's. A few months before, I had just discovered the goodness of Nutella. These candy bars are basically Nutella, wafers and chocolate. Delicious! I brought a few of them home with me and sparingly ate them, as I wanted to stretch them as far as I could. I knew I wasn't going to be in Hungary anytime soon, and I wanted to keep a little bit with me for as long as possible.
Tonight Aaron and I went to run some errands. We stopped by one of the shopping centers in Lubbock and decided to walk down from one end to the other. We passed about 4 stores that I love, but I did my best to practice self control and keep walking. We got close to World Market and came up with a great excuse to go in. This is one of my favorite stores, but I don't go often because I ALWAYS find something I want/need. We casually strolled around the store and made it to the food section where I spotted them. A box of Duplo bars. I couldn't believe my eyes! Right in front of me, all the way from Hungary, Duplo bars in Lubbock! I could hardly contain my excitement. I eagerly snatched up a few and promised Aaron that these were going to become his new favorite candy bars. We finished running our errands and when we got back in to the car, I didn't waste a minute before tearing open one of the bars. I bit in and it was just as I remembered it. I don't know if I convinced Aaron that they were the best candy bar ever, but I think he enjoyed the little bite I shared with him. Anyhow, as I polished off the last few bites, I couldn't help but think about Hungary. It was about this time last year that I was preparing to go. Getting my things in order, making a packing list, praying for God's provision, and highly anticipating a trip out of the country.
We all have life changing moments. Times that mark a turn around for us. A beginning of a new chapter. This was what Hungary was for me. Before I went, I felt hopeless. Broken beyond repair, useless, lonely, and ashamed. I had just walked through devastation and it seemed like winter was never going to end, literally and figuratively speaking. I needed a change. I needed something big and something good to happen. Up until this point, God had been doing great things for me but I was still being plagued with pain and sorrow. Good days were far and few between and the only memories I had were bad ones. I knew this was what I needed. I knew my soul would be refreshed if I could just get there. Because the truth is, often times when we pour ourselves out, we are filled.
I met a group of incredible people when I arrived. In fact, they had been praying for me unknowingly. They welcomed me with open arms. They didn't know a thing about me other than my name, where I was from, and what I looked like. They embraced me, got to know me, and for the first time in many months I felt accepted. For the first time, I felt like I could just be me. No one was tip-toe-ing around me, no one was asking "how are you doing?" and no one treated me differently. And joy began to return. I began to feel normal again. And it was then that God was really beginning to show me truth in a tangible way. I knew His truths, but now I was actually seeing them for myself.
Half way through our trip I did it. I reluctantly told them my story, what I was going through, what I had been through, and I was honest. I felt like I left them hanging because I had no clue what was next. I didn't have this pretty ending to wrap it all up. There was no bow on top. I was right in the midst of the struggle and they were the first people, outside of family and really close friends, to hear about it. And so I put on my brave face and I said something like, "This is what God's doing in my life. I don't get it. I don't understand why. I don't know why the cards fell the way they did. But God is good regardless. Even though it doesn't make sense to me right now, I'm still trusting Him. He's gotten me this far, and I know He's not going anywhere." The room was filled with silence as they listened. I had a translator so it took even longer to get through. A group of strangers staring at me as I spilled my heart out and when all was said and done, they still showed love to me. They still accepted me. They still treated me the same, and my fears of being unwanted, of being an outcast, and of being rejected started to fade away.
It was then that God showed me I had a story worth telling. It was then that God reminded me that I am not broken beyond repair and that He can, in fact, use me. It was then He showed me how His strength is made perfect in my weakness. He showed me the value of a testimony, and He made it clear that He was going to bring great things out of such a disaster. And it was during that week that God showed me life was going to return to normal soon. The bad days were coming to and end, and I clearly understood that this was the start of something beautiful and new.
If only I knew then what I know now. But I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I had to wait and figure it out. And the truth is, I still don't have it all figured out. I still don't know what lies ahead. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that God is always good regardless. I don't just say it to sound Godly or encouraging, I say it because I know it. And in His goodness, God will go to whatever lengths He needs to in order to get us to see that, to see truth. And maybe that means plucking you from your home and taking you half way around the world for a week. Maybe that means letting your world crumble so He can build it back into something better than you could have ever imagined. Who knows how He will do it, but He will.
As I ate my Duplo bar tonight, I was grateful for the reminder. Grateful for the opportunity to have gone to Hungary and grateful for what God did in my life during that week. It was the start of something new, something beautiful, something good, and I am grateful for all that He has done for me since then.
#410 - For unexpected reminders of His goodness.
"...for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light." - 1 Peter 2:9
Tonight Aaron and I went to run some errands. We stopped by one of the shopping centers in Lubbock and decided to walk down from one end to the other. We passed about 4 stores that I love, but I did my best to practice self control and keep walking. We got close to World Market and came up with a great excuse to go in. This is one of my favorite stores, but I don't go often because I ALWAYS find something I want/need. We casually strolled around the store and made it to the food section where I spotted them. A box of Duplo bars. I couldn't believe my eyes! Right in front of me, all the way from Hungary, Duplo bars in Lubbock! I could hardly contain my excitement. I eagerly snatched up a few and promised Aaron that these were going to become his new favorite candy bars. We finished running our errands and when we got back in to the car, I didn't waste a minute before tearing open one of the bars. I bit in and it was just as I remembered it. I don't know if I convinced Aaron that they were the best candy bar ever, but I think he enjoyed the little bite I shared with him. Anyhow, as I polished off the last few bites, I couldn't help but think about Hungary. It was about this time last year that I was preparing to go. Getting my things in order, making a packing list, praying for God's provision, and highly anticipating a trip out of the country.
We all have life changing moments. Times that mark a turn around for us. A beginning of a new chapter. This was what Hungary was for me. Before I went, I felt hopeless. Broken beyond repair, useless, lonely, and ashamed. I had just walked through devastation and it seemed like winter was never going to end, literally and figuratively speaking. I needed a change. I needed something big and something good to happen. Up until this point, God had been doing great things for me but I was still being plagued with pain and sorrow. Good days were far and few between and the only memories I had were bad ones. I knew this was what I needed. I knew my soul would be refreshed if I could just get there. Because the truth is, often times when we pour ourselves out, we are filled.
I met a group of incredible people when I arrived. In fact, they had been praying for me unknowingly. They welcomed me with open arms. They didn't know a thing about me other than my name, where I was from, and what I looked like. They embraced me, got to know me, and for the first time in many months I felt accepted. For the first time, I felt like I could just be me. No one was tip-toe-ing around me, no one was asking "how are you doing?" and no one treated me differently. And joy began to return. I began to feel normal again. And it was then that God was really beginning to show me truth in a tangible way. I knew His truths, but now I was actually seeing them for myself.
Half way through our trip I did it. I reluctantly told them my story, what I was going through, what I had been through, and I was honest. I felt like I left them hanging because I had no clue what was next. I didn't have this pretty ending to wrap it all up. There was no bow on top. I was right in the midst of the struggle and they were the first people, outside of family and really close friends, to hear about it. And so I put on my brave face and I said something like, "This is what God's doing in my life. I don't get it. I don't understand why. I don't know why the cards fell the way they did. But God is good regardless. Even though it doesn't make sense to me right now, I'm still trusting Him. He's gotten me this far, and I know He's not going anywhere." The room was filled with silence as they listened. I had a translator so it took even longer to get through. A group of strangers staring at me as I spilled my heart out and when all was said and done, they still showed love to me. They still accepted me. They still treated me the same, and my fears of being unwanted, of being an outcast, and of being rejected started to fade away.
It was then that God showed me I had a story worth telling. It was then that God reminded me that I am not broken beyond repair and that He can, in fact, use me. It was then He showed me how His strength is made perfect in my weakness. He showed me the value of a testimony, and He made it clear that He was going to bring great things out of such a disaster. And it was during that week that God showed me life was going to return to normal soon. The bad days were coming to and end, and I clearly understood that this was the start of something beautiful and new.
If only I knew then what I know now. But I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I had to wait and figure it out. And the truth is, I still don't have it all figured out. I still don't know what lies ahead. But if there's one thing I've learned, it's that God is always good regardless. I don't just say it to sound Godly or encouraging, I say it because I know it. And in His goodness, God will go to whatever lengths He needs to in order to get us to see that, to see truth. And maybe that means plucking you from your home and taking you half way around the world for a week. Maybe that means letting your world crumble so He can build it back into something better than you could have ever imagined. Who knows how He will do it, but He will.
As I ate my Duplo bar tonight, I was grateful for the reminder. Grateful for the opportunity to have gone to Hungary and grateful for what God did in my life during that week. It was the start of something new, something beautiful, something good, and I am grateful for all that He has done for me since then.
#410 - For unexpected reminders of His goodness.
"...for you are a chosen people. You are royal priests, a holy nation, God’s very own possession. As a result, you can show others the goodness of God, for he called you out of the darkness into his wonderful light." - 1 Peter 2:9
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