Reason #404
I took a bubble bath tonight. I could have stayed in there forever. It was warm and relaxing, and I spent my time reading a book. A little escape for a few minutes. An opportunity to enter into another world where I don't have to think or do anything. I just simply watch and spectate for as long as I please.
And so I wrapped up my bath after a decent amount of time and I got ready for bed. The nightly routine constist of Scout going outside to potty before bed. Every single night, I tell her, "Scout, go potty." She knows exactly what I'm saying and she does it. Tonight she put up a fight. Tonight, I did, too. The grass is wet, it's freezing cold outside, and the wind is fiercely blowing. I don't want to be outside either. But here's the thing, it won't be better at 2:00AM or 4:00AM. And at either one of those times I will be in a deep sleep. Warm and snuggled under the sheets, and the last thing I will want to do is get out bed to let her out. At either one of those times, Scout will care the less about whether or not I want to get up. She will care about her bladder. And, because I care about the floors in my house, I will give in and get out of bed. So this made me quite mad. I stood at the back door for way too long instructing an incredibly defiant dog to go to the bathroom. I ended up standing outside in a valiant attempt to reinforce my command. I was unsuccessful and after 15 minutes, I was mad. Here's the thing, I just want to sleep. I am tired, and I mean tired. I'm not just in need of a good night's rest. I'm in need of a year's worth of good night's rests. But what am I to do? I can't make her go to the bathroom. I can't make her empty her bladder out if she doesn't want to or need to. And so, I'm sure, at o'dark hundred, I'll begrudgingly crawl out of bed to let her out.
I don't know why this made me so angry. Sometimes, it's just the little things that set us off, isn't it? Someone said something we didn't like, we didn't apprecaite their tone or reaction, they didn't respond the way we thought they should have, they aren't doing what we want, and so we get mad. But I'm beginning to realize that this happens more when I'm tired. When I'm worn out and sleepy and just need rest, my patience level really drops. I start to develop an "whatever, it doesn't matter to me" mindset because I'm too tired to deal with it. I'm too tired to spend energy discussing or worrying about it. One thing leads to another which leads to another and the next thing I know, I'm not sure why I'm upset, I just am.
But I can't stay upset with Scout for long. I love her too much, and she's so sweet and cute, that I get over it pretty quickly. Truthfully, I feel kind of bad for being harsh, and I'm thankful that she decided to curl up in my lap and snuggle me as I've typed tonight. But I think God feels the same way about us too. Even on days like today, days where I feel as tired as I look and I act it too, I'm thankful God has patience with me. Some days I even get annoyed or irritated with myself and I'm so glad He doesn't. Because I do have those moments, like Scout, where I put up a fight. Moments where I don't want to do what I am supposed to do for no good reason. Moments where I'm stubborn and selfish and only think about my desires and comfort. And I'm thankful that, unlike me, God not only practices infinite patience with me but that He doesn't do it begrudgingly. I'm thankful that He understands my crazy, emotional, and exhausted ways and deals with me lovingly instead of irritably. Because He could. He could be like me, demanding and stomping and growling because I am just not behaving as He would prefer, but He doesn't. He still lets me curl up because that's just the kind of God He is. A God of compassion and mercy. One who will love us even during those unloveable moments. And so He teaches me, He reminds me, and I'm thankful for that. Thankful that I could never behave in a such a way to deserve or lose His love. And I'm really thankful for moments, even after I've been a brat, that He will just let me rest in His arms and be loved on.
#404 - Because His patience is infinite and His love is constant.
"The Lord is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion." - Numbers 14:18
And so I wrapped up my bath after a decent amount of time and I got ready for bed. The nightly routine constist of Scout going outside to potty before bed. Every single night, I tell her, "Scout, go potty." She knows exactly what I'm saying and she does it. Tonight she put up a fight. Tonight, I did, too. The grass is wet, it's freezing cold outside, and the wind is fiercely blowing. I don't want to be outside either. But here's the thing, it won't be better at 2:00AM or 4:00AM. And at either one of those times I will be in a deep sleep. Warm and snuggled under the sheets, and the last thing I will want to do is get out bed to let her out. At either one of those times, Scout will care the less about whether or not I want to get up. She will care about her bladder. And, because I care about the floors in my house, I will give in and get out of bed. So this made me quite mad. I stood at the back door for way too long instructing an incredibly defiant dog to go to the bathroom. I ended up standing outside in a valiant attempt to reinforce my command. I was unsuccessful and after 15 minutes, I was mad. Here's the thing, I just want to sleep. I am tired, and I mean tired. I'm not just in need of a good night's rest. I'm in need of a year's worth of good night's rests. But what am I to do? I can't make her go to the bathroom. I can't make her empty her bladder out if she doesn't want to or need to. And so, I'm sure, at o'dark hundred, I'll begrudgingly crawl out of bed to let her out.
I don't know why this made me so angry. Sometimes, it's just the little things that set us off, isn't it? Someone said something we didn't like, we didn't apprecaite their tone or reaction, they didn't respond the way we thought they should have, they aren't doing what we want, and so we get mad. But I'm beginning to realize that this happens more when I'm tired. When I'm worn out and sleepy and just need rest, my patience level really drops. I start to develop an "whatever, it doesn't matter to me" mindset because I'm too tired to deal with it. I'm too tired to spend energy discussing or worrying about it. One thing leads to another which leads to another and the next thing I know, I'm not sure why I'm upset, I just am.
But I can't stay upset with Scout for long. I love her too much, and she's so sweet and cute, that I get over it pretty quickly. Truthfully, I feel kind of bad for being harsh, and I'm thankful that she decided to curl up in my lap and snuggle me as I've typed tonight. But I think God feels the same way about us too. Even on days like today, days where I feel as tired as I look and I act it too, I'm thankful God has patience with me. Some days I even get annoyed or irritated with myself and I'm so glad He doesn't. Because I do have those moments, like Scout, where I put up a fight. Moments where I don't want to do what I am supposed to do for no good reason. Moments where I'm stubborn and selfish and only think about my desires and comfort. And I'm thankful that, unlike me, God not only practices infinite patience with me but that He doesn't do it begrudgingly. I'm thankful that He understands my crazy, emotional, and exhausted ways and deals with me lovingly instead of irritably. Because He could. He could be like me, demanding and stomping and growling because I am just not behaving as He would prefer, but He doesn't. He still lets me curl up because that's just the kind of God He is. A God of compassion and mercy. One who will love us even during those unloveable moments. And so He teaches me, He reminds me, and I'm thankful for that. Thankful that I could never behave in a such a way to deserve or lose His love. And I'm really thankful for moments, even after I've been a brat, that He will just let me rest in His arms and be loved on.
#404 - Because His patience is infinite and His love is constant.
"The Lord is slow to anger and filled with unfailing love, forgiving every kind of sin and rebellion." - Numbers 14:18
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