Reason #10

Today I've struggled with thoughts of what I deserve in life. I caught myself thinking that I deserve so much more and yet don't deserve this or that. Interesting and selfish way to be thinking, huh? My generation has come to realize what a "deserving group" we are. Now, I don't want to bash my generation too much because, after all, I am included in that group. Starting at a young age we are told that we deserve to be happy, healthy, successful, well off, free of struggle, free to live our lives however we want, etc. You get the idea. Many times I catch myself thinking, "I deserve that because _________, or I don't deserve this because ___________." The pattern I've come to notice is that I feel I deserve a whole lot more than I feel I don't deserve. This selfish way of feeling so "deserving" has caused many a problem not only in our society but in our own lives. I realize when I feel I deserve something, it better happen because, by gosh, I deserve it. If I don't get what I think I deserve, then something is very wrong. If I get something I feel I don't deserve, then I shouldn't have to deal with that, right? I should only get the things I deserve, and by that I mean good things. Obviously, we never want the bad things we "deserve." So, have I completely lost you yet?

A few months ago, I had a painful, heart-wrenching conversation about what I do and don't deserve... from the perspective of two other people.  As that conversation will always haunt me, I've come to realize that I'm so thankful that it's not up to man to ultimately decide what I do and don't deserve. If we decided that for each other, we'd be out of luck in no time. When we begin deciding who deserves what and why they deserve it, we not only base it off of our own biases, we also leave out a very important factor - mercy. I began to ask God to show me the truth about what I deserve. Am I getting what I deserve (good or bad)? I'm a broken sinner who deserves nothing good from a perfect, holy, righteous God. I read some verses in the book of Psalm and was quickly reminded that God gives me exactly what I don't deserve - mercy (which is only one of the many things he gives me that I don't deserve). Dictionary.com defines mercy as "an act of kindness, compassion or favor." The beauty of God's mercy is that I have done absolutely nothing to deserve it. In fact, I can't do anything to deserve it. There is no reason God should show me kindness, compassion or favor, yet He shows me that and so much more on a daily basis. Psalm 69:16 says, "Answer my prayers, O LORD, for your unfailing love is wonderful. Take care of me, for your mercy is so plentiful." As I think about all of the good things in my life, I see how God continues to pour out his mercy on me. He's already given me more than I ever deserve! So I may walk through life occasionally getting what I think I do and don't deserve, but I'm thankful that with God, I never get what I truly deserve.

#10 - Mercy - Because He doesn't give me what I deserve.

"I love the LORD because he hears my voice and my prayer for mercy. Because he bends down to listen, I will pray as long as I have breath!" Psalm 116: 1-2


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