Reason #599
I find myself right here every night. Fingers pressing down on the worn out keys of my dinosaur computer. Technology moves too fast, and batteries die too quickly, and so every night I lay in bed trying to gather my thoughts. Every night I lay here attempting to put into words how I feel. Some nights I'm more successful than other nights. There are days I have a whole lot more to talk about that other days. But somehow I still manage fill the screen with paragraph after paragraph every single night, and I am always amazed that if I just type long enough, something will come to me.
I looked through old pictures today. I say old, they really weren't that old. The oldest picture went back two years. But as I looked through each one, I was amazed how at quickly the time has passed. I had such vivid memories with each picture, and as I thought about each one. my heart settled into this melancholy state. Because each picture was simply a memory. A time I will never live out again. An opportunity I had, and even if I was given the opportunity again, it wouldn't be the same. Because although I look relatively the same, things have changed. I feel differently, I see things differently, I think differently, and so it would be a completely different experience.
I looked through my pictures of my trip to Hungary and I thought about what a blessing that trip was. I thought about the relationships that were formed and how I may not get to see some of them again on this side of Heaven. I thought about how the Lord used that time to encourage and heal me. I thought about how that particular trip was kind of the turning point for me. I looked through pictures of my bible study group from last summer and fall. I thought about how much fun I had with each one. I thought about how I haven't seen or talked to some of them in months. I thought about how much time and effort I poured into that group hoping and praying that God would use me, and I thought about how much I grew during that time. I looked at my wedding pictures and I thought about how perfect that day was. I thought about how much planning and preparation went into that day, and I thought about how much God blessed that day. I thought about how I felt when I woke up that morning, how I looked, and how unusually calm my heart was. I thought about how it rained, about how that was it. I'm never going to marry Aaron again. I am never going to be a bride again. That was the last time. And with each picture I looked at, I thought about how I'll never be able to re-live those moments again.
We are given one opportunity every single day. We never get to re-do a day. In fact, we have to live with the aftermath of our daily choice every day thereafter. And as I considered this, I wondered why it is we chose to have so many bad days. Why it is we chose to live out some days in anger, bitterness, frustration, or sorrow. Why do we chose to argue and ruin a day that could have been perfect otherwise? Why do we chose to let the little things get under our skin and keep us from rejoicing in the day that the Lord has made? Why do we allow ourselves to spend time in worry, anxiety, fear, and selfishness when we could make the most of every day, thus turning it into a sweet memory?
I have yet to figure this one out. But I realized that as I looked over each of those pictures, I was reviewing some of the happiest moments of my life. Days that I wish I could live out just one more time because they were that good. Yet each day I make the choice of how I am going to act and react. Am I going to make it a day to remember or one to try and forget? Well, we'll never get this one down all the way, but I suppose it never hurts trying. After all, who wouldn't like to have more good days than bad? And so we chose. Will this be a day you look back on and gladly remember, or will it be a wasted day? Because today is the only opportunity you have to make it a good one, the last opportunity to live it, so do something good with it. That way, when you look back in two years, you'll be glad for all of the good days you've had.
#599 - For all of the good days He has given me.
"Sing to the Lord; praise his name. Each day proclaim the good news that he saves." - Psalm 92:6
I looked through old pictures today. I say old, they really weren't that old. The oldest picture went back two years. But as I looked through each one, I was amazed how at quickly the time has passed. I had such vivid memories with each picture, and as I thought about each one. my heart settled into this melancholy state. Because each picture was simply a memory. A time I will never live out again. An opportunity I had, and even if I was given the opportunity again, it wouldn't be the same. Because although I look relatively the same, things have changed. I feel differently, I see things differently, I think differently, and so it would be a completely different experience.
I looked through my pictures of my trip to Hungary and I thought about what a blessing that trip was. I thought about the relationships that were formed and how I may not get to see some of them again on this side of Heaven. I thought about how the Lord used that time to encourage and heal me. I thought about how that particular trip was kind of the turning point for me. I looked through pictures of my bible study group from last summer and fall. I thought about how much fun I had with each one. I thought about how I haven't seen or talked to some of them in months. I thought about how much time and effort I poured into that group hoping and praying that God would use me, and I thought about how much I grew during that time. I looked at my wedding pictures and I thought about how perfect that day was. I thought about how much planning and preparation went into that day, and I thought about how much God blessed that day. I thought about how I felt when I woke up that morning, how I looked, and how unusually calm my heart was. I thought about how it rained, about how that was it. I'm never going to marry Aaron again. I am never going to be a bride again. That was the last time. And with each picture I looked at, I thought about how I'll never be able to re-live those moments again.
We are given one opportunity every single day. We never get to re-do a day. In fact, we have to live with the aftermath of our daily choice every day thereafter. And as I considered this, I wondered why it is we chose to have so many bad days. Why it is we chose to live out some days in anger, bitterness, frustration, or sorrow. Why do we chose to argue and ruin a day that could have been perfect otherwise? Why do we chose to let the little things get under our skin and keep us from rejoicing in the day that the Lord has made? Why do we allow ourselves to spend time in worry, anxiety, fear, and selfishness when we could make the most of every day, thus turning it into a sweet memory?
I have yet to figure this one out. But I realized that as I looked over each of those pictures, I was reviewing some of the happiest moments of my life. Days that I wish I could live out just one more time because they were that good. Yet each day I make the choice of how I am going to act and react. Am I going to make it a day to remember or one to try and forget? Well, we'll never get this one down all the way, but I suppose it never hurts trying. After all, who wouldn't like to have more good days than bad? And so we chose. Will this be a day you look back on and gladly remember, or will it be a wasted day? Because today is the only opportunity you have to make it a good one, the last opportunity to live it, so do something good with it. That way, when you look back in two years, you'll be glad for all of the good days you've had.
#599 - For all of the good days He has given me.
"Sing to the Lord; praise his name. Each day proclaim the good news that he saves." - Psalm 92:6
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