Reason #602
I had the longest day ever. I never thought I was going to get home, and there's just something about working late on a Friday that seems so cruel. I came home to find Aaron still in his work clothes. He gave me a big relieving hug and told me we had dinner reservations at 6:30. After dinner, we ran a few errands to pick up gifts and discovered that Bed, Bath & Beyond now has a self-serve gift wrapping station. We had a "wrap off," reunited forces to create one heck of a bow, and made one last stop at Toys-R-Us. It's nights like these that I cherish. Little moments with my husband that remind me why I married him. Evenings when I get to have his full attention, make new memories, and laugh with him help me see, once again, how he is the perfect one for me.
I think we can all agree that the first year of marriage is one of the biggest learning curves one can experience. And although you may do all of this work before hand to ensure that your marriage runs as smoothly as possible, there are just some things you can't figure out. You have to experience them to understand them because you don't even know what they are until you're right in the middle of it. And so this week was another learning experience for me, and I learned that maybe I've been asking for the wrong kind of help thus far.
One of my recurring prayers is that I'd be able to love and encourage Aaron in the way he needs to be loved and encouraged. And as we've been going through the Love & Respect bible study, I realized that I have only considered half of that equation. Respect was never a thought that crossed my mind, as I don't generally see myself as a disrespectful person. But the author of the study spoke about respect on Wednesday night and made a point that women understood how much men needed this. Now, before we start pulling out our "woman power" card, let me explain. See, men are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. The author stated that the bible doesn't command wives to love their husbands because women are naturally wired to love and nurture. God wouldn't command us to do something that is a natural behavior. No, God calls us to go above and beyond. To act supernaturally. To do things that aren't our first inclination. And so I realized I have been asking God to help me do what I already do. To help me keep up the good work of loving Aaron because it's easy for me. I never realized that maybe Aaron needs other things, too. I never thought to ask, "Lord, how can I give Aaron whatever it is he may need?" I just threw in love because love is important to me. And I started to see that I wasn't being open minded. That I was confining God to working in my marriage only through love and wasn't being open to letting Him move in other ways to draw us closer to one another and closer to Him.
I think we do this a lot in life. "God, here is what I am good at so help me keep being good at it." We don't say, "God, do I need to be doing something differently so that I can be more effective for you?" Because we can't think past that. We have a hard time thinking and seeing past ourselves. And sometimes God calls us to do things beyond ourselves so that we have to rely on Him to show us, to lead us, and to do it through us. But He will. I can't imagine going before the Lord and asking Him to use me to reflect His love, His grace, forgiveness, goodness, and mercy and that He would say no. Never once has the Lord turned down my plea for help, no matter how big or small it may seem at the time.
And so today I realized that I need to start praying for different things even if I don't see or understand it right now. I don't quite know what Aaron needs in terms of respect, or what that even looks like, but I trust that the Lord knows and I'm trusting that His word is true. I'm leaning on Him to help me and admitting that I cannot be an effective wife without Him. Because as much as I want to know Aaron, the Lord knows Him even better. And who better to ask for help than someone with all the answers?
So maybe you're in a spot like this, too. You've been praying for the Lord to use you a certain way and you just can't imagine how He would do it any differently. Well, be open and see how. Because there may be a key piece you are missing, or there may be something you need to do differently. He will let you know. Your job is to be obedient to actually do it once you're aware of it.
And so I'm trying. Trying to be the best wife I can be because I have been blessed with the best husband. And sure, I have my days where I think I'll never be able to figure it out, but here's what I've learned. No matter who you marry or how long you've been married to them, you never stop learning. You never stop trying, you never stop falling, you never stop changing, and you never stop needing the Lord's help. And thank goodness that He will never stop helping, either.
#602 - Because He never stops helping us.
"Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you. Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly." - Psalm 5:2-3
I think we can all agree that the first year of marriage is one of the biggest learning curves one can experience. And although you may do all of this work before hand to ensure that your marriage runs as smoothly as possible, there are just some things you can't figure out. You have to experience them to understand them because you don't even know what they are until you're right in the middle of it. And so this week was another learning experience for me, and I learned that maybe I've been asking for the wrong kind of help thus far.
One of my recurring prayers is that I'd be able to love and encourage Aaron in the way he needs to be loved and encouraged. And as we've been going through the Love & Respect bible study, I realized that I have only considered half of that equation. Respect was never a thought that crossed my mind, as I don't generally see myself as a disrespectful person. But the author of the study spoke about respect on Wednesday night and made a point that women understood how much men needed this. Now, before we start pulling out our "woman power" card, let me explain. See, men are to love their wives and wives are to respect their husbands. The author stated that the bible doesn't command wives to love their husbands because women are naturally wired to love and nurture. God wouldn't command us to do something that is a natural behavior. No, God calls us to go above and beyond. To act supernaturally. To do things that aren't our first inclination. And so I realized I have been asking God to help me do what I already do. To help me keep up the good work of loving Aaron because it's easy for me. I never realized that maybe Aaron needs other things, too. I never thought to ask, "Lord, how can I give Aaron whatever it is he may need?" I just threw in love because love is important to me. And I started to see that I wasn't being open minded. That I was confining God to working in my marriage only through love and wasn't being open to letting Him move in other ways to draw us closer to one another and closer to Him.
I think we do this a lot in life. "God, here is what I am good at so help me keep being good at it." We don't say, "God, do I need to be doing something differently so that I can be more effective for you?" Because we can't think past that. We have a hard time thinking and seeing past ourselves. And sometimes God calls us to do things beyond ourselves so that we have to rely on Him to show us, to lead us, and to do it through us. But He will. I can't imagine going before the Lord and asking Him to use me to reflect His love, His grace, forgiveness, goodness, and mercy and that He would say no. Never once has the Lord turned down my plea for help, no matter how big or small it may seem at the time.
And so today I realized that I need to start praying for different things even if I don't see or understand it right now. I don't quite know what Aaron needs in terms of respect, or what that even looks like, but I trust that the Lord knows and I'm trusting that His word is true. I'm leaning on Him to help me and admitting that I cannot be an effective wife without Him. Because as much as I want to know Aaron, the Lord knows Him even better. And who better to ask for help than someone with all the answers?
So maybe you're in a spot like this, too. You've been praying for the Lord to use you a certain way and you just can't imagine how He would do it any differently. Well, be open and see how. Because there may be a key piece you are missing, or there may be something you need to do differently. He will let you know. Your job is to be obedient to actually do it once you're aware of it.
And so I'm trying. Trying to be the best wife I can be because I have been blessed with the best husband. And sure, I have my days where I think I'll never be able to figure it out, but here's what I've learned. No matter who you marry or how long you've been married to them, you never stop learning. You never stop trying, you never stop falling, you never stop changing, and you never stop needing the Lord's help. And thank goodness that He will never stop helping, either.
#602 - Because He never stops helping us.
"Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for I pray to no one but you. Listen to my voice in the morning, Lord. Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly." - Psalm 5:2-3
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