Reason #606
Could the weather get any better? It appears that we are having fall, and I am loving it! Aaron and I went on a walk after dinner tonight, and the cool weather took me back to last September.
Aaron and mine's dating relationship started out differently than any other relationship I've ever had. From the start, he made sure to mention that he liked to take things really slowly. I was fine with that. I was nervous as all get out and completely unsure of how to go about this whole dating thing, so the slower the better. About three weeks into it, he initiated the "DTR" conversation. I told him that I was basically waiting on him to decide and he said, "well, I've just been waiting on you to decide." And so we decided that this was probably the right time to make it official.
I remember the first event we went to as a "couple." Aaron held my hand the whole time, and he made sure that he introduced me as his girlfriend. I hadn't been a girlfriend in such a long time, but I was thankful for the title. And the more time we spent together, the more I hoped I would always be at least his girlfriend. Because there was something about Aaron that I had never found in anyone before. Something that drew me to him and I really couldn't even put my finger on it. But part of me was still a little nervous that he was going to change his mind. I was afraid he was going to meet someone else and drop me, and I wouldn't have blamed him if he did. And so I kept myself reserved and secretly prepared so that the fall wouldn't hurt so much when it happened.
It was late September and we were sitting outside in the backyard on the patio furniture that had taken a beating during the spring. It was beautiful and cool outside. Pitch black, and the sky was clear so we could see all of the stars. I was leaning against Aaron with my feet propped up on just talking my little heart out. This had become our routine through out the summer. After dinner, once the sun was down, we would sit outside and talk for hours. We'd talk about our pasts, about our thoughts, our desires, and everything in between. And I don't know what sparked it, but I made a particular comment to which Aaron followed up with, "because I love you." My stomach turned inside out and I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest. I love you. Just like that. It came out of his mouth like he had been saying it his whole life. It was so natural, sincere, effortless. I love you. There was no question that I felt the exact same way, I was just waiting on him to say it. I love you, too.
It wasn't long after that we began to discuss marriage. In order to keep from being presumptuous, I figured we'd probably get married in the fall of 2013. You know, do the whole "date a year" thing and then have a short engagement. But May won out, and May was perfect. And I couldn't be more glad that we went with our hearts rather than some "ideal" timeline. People say you don't know what love is when you get married, and while that's a really catchy little comment to throw out there, I beg to differ.
Why would you marry someone you don't love? That's a horrible idea. If you don't love them at that time, don't marry them. You're the only one who can determine that. Only you know what love looks like for you, and no one call tell you. There is no timeline for falling in love, and there's no rhyme or reason. I knew I loved Aaron when I married him, and I always will. But love looks different based on time and experience. Love grows deeper with the years. Sometimes love is easier than other times, but that's the thing about love, love stays. When you love someone, you stay.
The first time Aaron told me he loved me, I believed him. I didn't question why or feel like he was misleading me. I took him at his word, and deep down I knew. I knew he was telling me this simply because it was how he felt. He didn't have ulterior motives, he just wanted me to know that I meant more to him. I meant enough to him that he wanted to stick around. And even though he didn't know everything about me, even though it hadn't been that long, even though we hadn't worked through every possible issue we might have, he wasn't planning on going anywhere. He understood love at that point in our relationship, and so did I. It's been a year now and our love looks different than it did last September. Our love has had some good days and some bad days, but I wouldn't trade a single one of them for the world.
And so tonight as we set out on a walk with Scout, my heart was full because I remembered this time last year. I remembered how I felt, how it was a huge turning point in my life. And truth be told, I am still amazed at all the Lord has done for me, for us. For how much He loves us. For the fact that He lavishes His love on us day in and day out so that we can pour love into one another's lives. And above all I'm grateful the Lord loves us enough to stay.
Life isn't perfect, but sometimes certain days are. Love isn't perfect, either, but sometimes certain moments are. Tonight was one of those really nice combinations of both, just like last September, and I just praise the Lord for giving me someone to not only love forever but to be forever loved by.
#606 - For His love that stays.
"...for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness." - Psalm 26:3
Aaron and mine's dating relationship started out differently than any other relationship I've ever had. From the start, he made sure to mention that he liked to take things really slowly. I was fine with that. I was nervous as all get out and completely unsure of how to go about this whole dating thing, so the slower the better. About three weeks into it, he initiated the "DTR" conversation. I told him that I was basically waiting on him to decide and he said, "well, I've just been waiting on you to decide." And so we decided that this was probably the right time to make it official.
I remember the first event we went to as a "couple." Aaron held my hand the whole time, and he made sure that he introduced me as his girlfriend. I hadn't been a girlfriend in such a long time, but I was thankful for the title. And the more time we spent together, the more I hoped I would always be at least his girlfriend. Because there was something about Aaron that I had never found in anyone before. Something that drew me to him and I really couldn't even put my finger on it. But part of me was still a little nervous that he was going to change his mind. I was afraid he was going to meet someone else and drop me, and I wouldn't have blamed him if he did. And so I kept myself reserved and secretly prepared so that the fall wouldn't hurt so much when it happened.
It was late September and we were sitting outside in the backyard on the patio furniture that had taken a beating during the spring. It was beautiful and cool outside. Pitch black, and the sky was clear so we could see all of the stars. I was leaning against Aaron with my feet propped up on just talking my little heart out. This had become our routine through out the summer. After dinner, once the sun was down, we would sit outside and talk for hours. We'd talk about our pasts, about our thoughts, our desires, and everything in between. And I don't know what sparked it, but I made a particular comment to which Aaron followed up with, "because I love you." My stomach turned inside out and I thought my heart was going to pop out of my chest. I love you. Just like that. It came out of his mouth like he had been saying it his whole life. It was so natural, sincere, effortless. I love you. There was no question that I felt the exact same way, I was just waiting on him to say it. I love you, too.
It wasn't long after that we began to discuss marriage. In order to keep from being presumptuous, I figured we'd probably get married in the fall of 2013. You know, do the whole "date a year" thing and then have a short engagement. But May won out, and May was perfect. And I couldn't be more glad that we went with our hearts rather than some "ideal" timeline. People say you don't know what love is when you get married, and while that's a really catchy little comment to throw out there, I beg to differ.
Why would you marry someone you don't love? That's a horrible idea. If you don't love them at that time, don't marry them. You're the only one who can determine that. Only you know what love looks like for you, and no one call tell you. There is no timeline for falling in love, and there's no rhyme or reason. I knew I loved Aaron when I married him, and I always will. But love looks different based on time and experience. Love grows deeper with the years. Sometimes love is easier than other times, but that's the thing about love, love stays. When you love someone, you stay.
The first time Aaron told me he loved me, I believed him. I didn't question why or feel like he was misleading me. I took him at his word, and deep down I knew. I knew he was telling me this simply because it was how he felt. He didn't have ulterior motives, he just wanted me to know that I meant more to him. I meant enough to him that he wanted to stick around. And even though he didn't know everything about me, even though it hadn't been that long, even though we hadn't worked through every possible issue we might have, he wasn't planning on going anywhere. He understood love at that point in our relationship, and so did I. It's been a year now and our love looks different than it did last September. Our love has had some good days and some bad days, but I wouldn't trade a single one of them for the world.
And so tonight as we set out on a walk with Scout, my heart was full because I remembered this time last year. I remembered how I felt, how it was a huge turning point in my life. And truth be told, I am still amazed at all the Lord has done for me, for us. For how much He loves us. For the fact that He lavishes His love on us day in and day out so that we can pour love into one another's lives. And above all I'm grateful the Lord loves us enough to stay.
Life isn't perfect, but sometimes certain days are. Love isn't perfect, either, but sometimes certain moments are. Tonight was one of those really nice combinations of both, just like last September, and I just praise the Lord for giving me someone to not only love forever but to be forever loved by.
#606 - For His love that stays.
"...for I have always been mindful of your unfailing love and have lived in reliance on your faithfulness." - Psalm 26:3
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