Reason #609

Finally Friday. I have been waiting for Friday to get here since Monday morning. How terrible is that? I find myself growing less and less patient the older I get. Maybe I should say I don't find myself growing more patience the older I get. Truthfully, I've always been impatient. And right now, I'm definitely struggling to wait.

Isn't it funny how we don't mind waiting on certain things yet we can't stand to wait on others? And I think what makes it so hard is when you have a suggested timeline that is subject to change. I think patience is particularly hard for planners because you have an idea of how and when things should happen. But it never fails that when waiting on good things to come, your timeline shrinks. All of the sudden you find yourself wishing away the time so you can get there. And whatever it is you're going through at the time seems to drag out. It's as if you feel you'll never get past this point and on to the next thing you're really desiring to do. And so every day seems to take a little longer as the anticipation builds. Will this really happen? When exactly will it happen? How exactly will it happen? What will it look like? What will it be like? All unknowns, and I think the mystery is what draws us in.

Two things I've noticed about life. One, it's always changing. Two, it never goes how you imagined. And I realize that I've probably written a hundred posts about waiting and being patient, and obviously this is still a big struggle for me. And, because I am a planner, I make plans and then have a hard time breaking them. I think long and hard about how things should go, but then I'll change my mind. Yet I still feel like I must stick with the original plan because that's what I said I would do. And so I find myself in this weird state of wanting to make some adjustments but a little scared to do so.

I think this is where we have to step out and trust the Lord. Trust Him timing. Obviously we know that His ways are not ours, they are better, and so God changes our plans sometimes. God speeds things up and He slows things down because He has a purpose for us. Yet if we stick firm to our plans rather than being brave to deviate and follow His leading, we may miss out on something really big. We may miss out on a huge blessing. And so while it is scary to forgo your own perfect, well thought out plans, it's worth it. Because we can't see past our plan, but God can. We can't see what will come before or after it, but God can. And even if it may be a little scary and look different than what you imagined, it's okay. None of it is a mystery to God, and He is going to lead us into anything He hasn't already gone before and prepared us for.

So I am trying to be patient. To make the most of where the Lord has me now while I wait. To trust in His timing even though I'd prefer it to be a little different. To be brave enough to do what the Lord says rather than what my planner says. And I'm grateful that He's leading. That He knows when to move and what direction to go. Because I'm just taking a stab in the dark, believing that He'll get me to the right place and the appointed time when it's best for me.

#609 - Because sometimes He changes our plans, but it's always for our good.

"But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." - Psalm 33:11

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