Reason #499
I get my feelings hurt pretty easily, I'm not going to lie. I don't have thick skin at all, and I take everything personally. On top of that, I'm always blaming myself when things go wrong. Therefore, it doesn't take much to affect me.
People talk. You all know this. We all do it. "How is so and so? What are they up to? Did you hear what they did, what they said, how they acted? Tell me what happened." And I'm not naïve to think I've never been the subject of such conversations. In fact, I've probably been the topic of conversation way more than I would have ever liked or preferred, especially over the past 2 years. And so people talk to other people, who talk to other people, who eventually talk to you.
I had a conversation earlier in the week and my feelings got hurt. Not intentionally, by any means. In fact, it was just information being passed along. But it hurt, and the more I thought about, the more upset I became. And, as I said the other day, I never know who reads my blogs so I tread lightly. It was kind of a silly thing to get upset over, I suppose. Logical thinking would say, "Oh well, big deal. People make their choices and they don't base them off of you." But emotions are never logically driven, and so I've spent some time this week really trying to wrap my brain around this one.
God is so sweet to me. He really is. He knows my heart so well and is faithful to always help me discover truth. Our Sunday school lesson was over Job today. I know this story really well. I've found a lot of comfort from Job's story, too. And so I want to share with you what I learned from Job today. How my heart was convicted and comforted all at the same time. Because maybe, like me, you've felt this way before. And maybe, you've been on the other side. And so this may be tough to read. This might ruffle your feathers, too. But just know this is what the Lord is teaching me as well, and as always, I just try to share what's on my heart.
Job was a righteous man. Upstanding. Good enough that the Lord even bragged on Him. Job was one of "those people." Had everything a person could want: great wealth, a good marriage, a big family, a lot of possessions, a nice home, high status, popularity, and he obviously did everything right. You know one of "those people," don't you? And I bet they get under your skin. They are perfect and it's annoying, right? And in no time at all, Job's world crumbled. Everything he had and loved was taken from him and not because he deserved it or did anything to warrant it. The truth is, Job lived in a fallen world, a world ruled by darkness and deception, and Job was put to the test.
But notice that the Lord allowed it. In fact, in the Heavenly conversation between God and the enemy, (of which Job had no idea) God brought up Job's name first. He "recommended" him I suppose you could say. Because God knew Job and He knew Job's heart. Before Job was born, His days were recorded. God knew every detail in Job's life, and more than anything, God knew that Job's reaction to the fire he was about to face was going to bring more glory to God's name than anyone else's would at that time.
And so to sum up 42 chapters, Job lost his health, his wealth, his marriage, his children, his possessions, his status, his pride, and his friends. If Job was a man of such status, that means he was well known. Yet, note that only a handful of friends showed up to actually grieve, support, and mourn with Job. Where was everyone else who knew him? I bet they were at the coffee shops sharing the latest updates on him, don't you? But at any rate, Job had a few friends who were willing to walk through the fire with him until the very end. Friends who were loyal and loving and truly cared. They didn't show up just to spy on Job and get some juicy gossip to spread around later. And because of this, these friends got to see God do some incredible things in Job's life. They got to witness the power of the Almighty, the Healer, the Redeemer, the Restorer, and that right there is news worth spreading.
Well after a lengthy period of loss and devastation, of wondering why in the world God was allowing this to happen, Job was restored. And this where I found comfort today. Because God chose to restore Job when God was ready to restore Job. Not on Job's timeline, not on Job's friends' timeline, not on the spectators' timeline, but on God's timeline. God also decided not only when He would restore Job but how He would do it. And do you know what God did? "He blessed Job even more in the second half of his life than in the beginning." (Job 42:12) What an amazing God we serve! A God who gives and takes away, yet He always gives so much more than He ever takes. And I'm truly glad for Job. Glad that God restored Him, blessed Him, used Him, and gave Him a story worth sharing. I never wish to be Job. I can only relate in the smallest way, but I couldn't be happier for how things turned out for Job, and I really mean that.
This is where I've had to check my heart. This is where I've really had to think and where I have struggled myself. How do we react when "those people" are put to the fire? Do we secretly rejoice at their fall, at the fact that their perfect little world isn't so perfect anymore? Do we really mourn for them and with them, or do we show up to just see what's really going on? Is curiosity our driving motive, or is loyalty? And when "those people" are restored and blessed even more than before, how do we feel about that? Are we truly happy for them, praising God for His faithfulness and goodness, or are we a bit jealous? Does the thought of, "Of course, that's how it would go for "them," cross our minds? That's the thing about the heart, only you and the Lord really know when it's right. And so I don't understand the difficulty of the internal struggle between truly praising God for what He has done for someone else, for how He has brought glory to Himself through their lives, for how He is doing great things with them, and for how He has followed through on His promises and answered their prayers, and the human emotions of judgment and jealousy that is often competing for that very same space.
Well, I don't expect to ever figure it out on this side of Heaven. I don't ever expect to not struggle with trying to limit God to working in my ways and answering prayers as I feel He should, when He should. But I found comfort today realizing that it doesn't matter what you or I think. God will act the way God is going to act. God will allow the things He allows whether or not we like it or understand it. God will also restore and bless in the way that He desires to whether we agree with it or not. And I'm so thankful for that. I'm thankful that He is never bound to human timelines, thoughts, or actions. I'm thankful that He does everything to bring glory to His name, and that's my prayer for myself. That in everything, every thought, every action, every word, and every feeling would bring glory to Him. And most of all, I'm thankful that God knows our hearts, because in the end, where our heart's are is what really matters the most.
#499 - For finding conviction and comfort all in one day, and for a God who works on His own timeline.
"I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You ask, "Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?" It is I. And I was talking about things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me... I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes." - Job 42:2-3&5
People talk. You all know this. We all do it. "How is so and so? What are they up to? Did you hear what they did, what they said, how they acted? Tell me what happened." And I'm not naïve to think I've never been the subject of such conversations. In fact, I've probably been the topic of conversation way more than I would have ever liked or preferred, especially over the past 2 years. And so people talk to other people, who talk to other people, who eventually talk to you.
I had a conversation earlier in the week and my feelings got hurt. Not intentionally, by any means. In fact, it was just information being passed along. But it hurt, and the more I thought about, the more upset I became. And, as I said the other day, I never know who reads my blogs so I tread lightly. It was kind of a silly thing to get upset over, I suppose. Logical thinking would say, "Oh well, big deal. People make their choices and they don't base them off of you." But emotions are never logically driven, and so I've spent some time this week really trying to wrap my brain around this one.
God is so sweet to me. He really is. He knows my heart so well and is faithful to always help me discover truth. Our Sunday school lesson was over Job today. I know this story really well. I've found a lot of comfort from Job's story, too. And so I want to share with you what I learned from Job today. How my heart was convicted and comforted all at the same time. Because maybe, like me, you've felt this way before. And maybe, you've been on the other side. And so this may be tough to read. This might ruffle your feathers, too. But just know this is what the Lord is teaching me as well, and as always, I just try to share what's on my heart.
Job was a righteous man. Upstanding. Good enough that the Lord even bragged on Him. Job was one of "those people." Had everything a person could want: great wealth, a good marriage, a big family, a lot of possessions, a nice home, high status, popularity, and he obviously did everything right. You know one of "those people," don't you? And I bet they get under your skin. They are perfect and it's annoying, right? And in no time at all, Job's world crumbled. Everything he had and loved was taken from him and not because he deserved it or did anything to warrant it. The truth is, Job lived in a fallen world, a world ruled by darkness and deception, and Job was put to the test.
But notice that the Lord allowed it. In fact, in the Heavenly conversation between God and the enemy, (of which Job had no idea) God brought up Job's name first. He "recommended" him I suppose you could say. Because God knew Job and He knew Job's heart. Before Job was born, His days were recorded. God knew every detail in Job's life, and more than anything, God knew that Job's reaction to the fire he was about to face was going to bring more glory to God's name than anyone else's would at that time.
And so to sum up 42 chapters, Job lost his health, his wealth, his marriage, his children, his possessions, his status, his pride, and his friends. If Job was a man of such status, that means he was well known. Yet, note that only a handful of friends showed up to actually grieve, support, and mourn with Job. Where was everyone else who knew him? I bet they were at the coffee shops sharing the latest updates on him, don't you? But at any rate, Job had a few friends who were willing to walk through the fire with him until the very end. Friends who were loyal and loving and truly cared. They didn't show up just to spy on Job and get some juicy gossip to spread around later. And because of this, these friends got to see God do some incredible things in Job's life. They got to witness the power of the Almighty, the Healer, the Redeemer, the Restorer, and that right there is news worth spreading.
Well after a lengthy period of loss and devastation, of wondering why in the world God was allowing this to happen, Job was restored. And this where I found comfort today. Because God chose to restore Job when God was ready to restore Job. Not on Job's timeline, not on Job's friends' timeline, not on the spectators' timeline, but on God's timeline. God also decided not only when He would restore Job but how He would do it. And do you know what God did? "He blessed Job even more in the second half of his life than in the beginning." (Job 42:12) What an amazing God we serve! A God who gives and takes away, yet He always gives so much more than He ever takes. And I'm truly glad for Job. Glad that God restored Him, blessed Him, used Him, and gave Him a story worth sharing. I never wish to be Job. I can only relate in the smallest way, but I couldn't be happier for how things turned out for Job, and I really mean that.
This is where I've had to check my heart. This is where I've really had to think and where I have struggled myself. How do we react when "those people" are put to the fire? Do we secretly rejoice at their fall, at the fact that their perfect little world isn't so perfect anymore? Do we really mourn for them and with them, or do we show up to just see what's really going on? Is curiosity our driving motive, or is loyalty? And when "those people" are restored and blessed even more than before, how do we feel about that? Are we truly happy for them, praising God for His faithfulness and goodness, or are we a bit jealous? Does the thought of, "Of course, that's how it would go for "them," cross our minds? That's the thing about the heart, only you and the Lord really know when it's right. And so I don't understand the difficulty of the internal struggle between truly praising God for what He has done for someone else, for how He has brought glory to Himself through their lives, for how He is doing great things with them, and for how He has followed through on His promises and answered their prayers, and the human emotions of judgment and jealousy that is often competing for that very same space.
Well, I don't expect to ever figure it out on this side of Heaven. I don't ever expect to not struggle with trying to limit God to working in my ways and answering prayers as I feel He should, when He should. But I found comfort today realizing that it doesn't matter what you or I think. God will act the way God is going to act. God will allow the things He allows whether or not we like it or understand it. God will also restore and bless in the way that He desires to whether we agree with it or not. And I'm so thankful for that. I'm thankful that He is never bound to human timelines, thoughts, or actions. I'm thankful that He does everything to bring glory to His name, and that's my prayer for myself. That in everything, every thought, every action, every word, and every feeling would bring glory to Him. And most of all, I'm thankful that God knows our hearts, because in the end, where our heart's are is what really matters the most.
#499 - For finding conviction and comfort all in one day, and for a God who works on His own timeline.
"I know that you can do anything, and no one can stop you. You ask, "Who is this that questions my wisdom with such ignorance?" It is I. And I was talking about things I did not understand, things far too wonderful for me... I had heard about you before, but now I have seen you with my own eyes." - Job 42:2-3&5
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