Reason #502

Remember those magic 8 balls? A little black, plastic ball filled with water and an answer cube. And you’d ask that magic ball a question, give it a good shake, and then see what the answer was. If you didn’t like that answer, you could either tilt the ball just a bit to change it or just shake it again. Best 2 out of 3. Maybe you didn’t have a magic 8 ball. But, if you were a junior high girl in the early 2000’s, you had the paper origami answerer. You know what I’m talking about. That fortunate piece of notebook paper folded this way and that. Each outside flap labeled with a color, the inside flaps with a number. And so with each choice, the paper origami was unfolded to reveal one of the pre-determined answers. You had an idea of what was under those flaps, it was just guessing right that got you the answer you were hoping for.

 

I feel like I’ve blogged a lot about choices and decisions lately. Mostly because I feel like your 20’s seem to be the decade in which you make most of your life-changing decisions. Where will you work, where will you live, how much debt will you sink yourself into, who will you marry, when will you have kids, how many kids will you have? This is no comprehensive list, by any means, and I fully realize that decisions are made throughout your entire lifetime. But there’s just something about being in your 20’s, and for me, my 20’s have been the decade where I’ve made some of the best and worst life changing decisions ever.

 

I think sometimes we treat God like that paper origami answerer or the magic 8 ball. We just start throwing question after question at Him expecting an instant answer. And if we don’t get the answer we like, we ask one more time just to make extra sure. And even if we are sure of what that answer is, we begin to distort and manipulate it so that we get the answer we want. I was guilty of this for a long, long time. I would give God two options. Here’s how it went. “God, this is my request. Either shut the door or open it.” And you know what the funny thing was about that? Usually the door would open somehow every single time. I would think that obviously this was the answer since the option became available, and I would dive in without really thinking in through. What’s more, I would often ignore my gut feeling by justifying that if God didn’t want it to happen, He would stop it in it’s tracks. And all the while, peace would be missing. I would wrestle with the decision, force it, and even if I was completely miserable and all arrows were pointing to no, I’d go ahead and do it. Rash and quick decision making is never the way to go, especially when peace is not part of the picture. Because it’s rarely easy to turn back once you’ve taken a step in one direction.

 

This was poor decision making skills, my friends. And when it comes to big, life-altering changes, poor decision making tactics inevitable lead to frustration, disappointment, and regret. “God, why didn’t you stop me if this wasn’t the right decision? Why did you allow that door to open and let me move that direction? I asked you and since you didn’t slam that door in my face, I thought this was what you wanted me to do.” We make it out to be all or nothing, attempting to restrict God in to acting one way or another.

 

Well, life is hard and lessons are learned, and this is one of those lessons that is learned the hard way. And I suppose what’s more confusing than closed doors you wished were open are always finding open doors. I won’t lie to you. God hasn’t slammed a door in my face very often. Now, there have been doors that were never opened that I tried to pry open. But He has always allowed me to choose whether or not I wanted to walk through an open door. He has let me decide every single time. God has never made me do one thing or not made me do another. And so this seems really confusing, right? Then how do we know what to do? Here’s what I have learned. If you do not feel peace about it, do not do it no matter how open that door seems. If you are the only one who thinks this is a good idea, you probably shouldn’t do it, either. If you have to do it in secret and withhold information, if you have to manipulate your plans, if you are impatient and simply looking for a way out, you’re probably not making the best decision. But know that God will let you. He will allow you to follow your own selfish desires. But if you’ll let Him, He will also give you direction. And really, more than what door we do or don’t walk through, I think God is most concerned with whether or not we glorify Him. Does our decision bring the MOST glory to His name? Is that decision the BEST reflection of Him? And if it’s no to either one of those, then just pull that door shut and know another one will open that does.

 

I wish I would have known this as a teenager. I wish someone would have sat me down and said, “Brittnye, if you don’t feel peace about this, don’t do it.” But I learned the hard way, and I’m thankful it’s a lesson I’ve learned. Not that I always know exactly what to do, but I have a better idea of what not to do. I know what to listen for, what to look for, and it makes life so much easier.

 

Marrying Aaron was the best life-changing decision I’ve made since I turned 20. Initially, a little scary, yes, but there was never a day where I wasn’t overcome with peace when I thought of spending the rest of my life with him. Believe me, I diligently prayed that God would shut the door if it wasn’t right, and that never happened. But I realize that God was allowing both of us to choose. And I quickly realized that this was a relationship that was going to bring glory to God’s name and reflect Him as much as possible because Aaron is a man that does exactly that. I figured I couldn’t go wrong, and I’ve never experienced an ounce of regret since. Even on the tough days I’ve never questioned it. And had I chosen not to marry Aaron (which would have been the dumbest decision I could have ever made), I know God would have allowed me to do that, too. So you see, there’s really no cookie cutter way to how God answers our questions. He’s not bound or limited to two or three choices. He is a God of free will, but He’s also a God of peace. If peace is there, God is there. And trust me, there’s not a better place to be than where ever God’s peace falls.

 

#502 - Because whether or not we walk through the door, He will still be with us.

 

"I listen carefully to what God the Lord is saying, for he speaks peace to his faithful people." - Psalm 87:8