Reason #170

July. The first day of a new month. I can't believe we are 7 months into 2012. I can't believe that summer is almost half way over.

I am a counter. I count stairs every time I walk up and down them. I can tell you that when I go to my office, I walk down 16 stairs. The number of stairs never changes, but I still count them every time. I suppose that's the analytical, mathematical side of me. Obviously, I count reasons to smile. I count the minutes in my work day to make sure they add up to 8 hours. I count the number of times I go to the gym each month. When I read, I count how many pages are in each chapter before I start it. I count out the suggested serving size of animal crackers for my snack at work, eat them, and then usually count out another serving. Clearly, I like numbers. Numbers are reliable, numbers are factual, numbers are hard to argue with, and numbers are proof. A good source of measurement.

Today marks 9 months. 9 months ago today, I sat in my room in total disbelief and shock. 9 months ago today, I cried my eyes out for hours and then stayed up until 5:00AM so I could study a Sunday school lesson that I was going to have to somehow teach the next day. 9 months ago today I embarked on a really difficult journey. And I know what you're thinking, "9 months isn't really that long." Oh, but it is. Because for 9 months I counted. Every minute, every second, every day, I counted.

Today, I count myself blessed. Today, I sat in church, surrounded by 6 sweet friends, and I rejoiced. If you ever known a cancer survivor, you know that they keep track of how many months they've been cancer-free. They count each month, celebrate each month, and are grateful for every year of life thereafter. And although I would never even begin to compare my situtation with that of a cancer survivor, I do somewhat feel like a survivor. I feel like I've beat the odds a little. Because for quite a while, I hoped that each month would drag out. I didn't want a new month to come because I knew what that meant. But today, I am grateful for a new month. And I realized that for the past 3 months, I've been grateful for the start of each one and have looked forward to the next.

So I don't know that I'll quit counting anytime soon, and I doubt that I'll ever lose total track. But as I count, as the number grows, so does my gratitude and praise. And I look back and I think "Wow, God, look how far we've come. Look how far you've brought me. Look at all you've done for me!"

So every month, on the first day, I feel like a small celebration is in order. Because, now, I have 9 months full of reasons to give thanks as I remember what all has transpired in my life. And I count each new month precious as I see how He has brought me through each one and anticipate what's to come. And, more than anything, I'm forever grateful to know that I serve a God who can always, always be counted on!

#170 - A new month.

"I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word." - Psalm 130:5

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