Reason #178

I woke up at 6:00 this morning. With extra sleepy eyes and an achy back from the hard hotel bed, I flipped on the harshly, bright florescent lights. Too early to be awake! I plugged in the coffee pot so I could make myself a cup of hot tea. I knew I was going to need a caffeine boost this morning. As I walked outside into the incredibly stuffy, humid Austin air, I could feel my hair begin to flatten.  So much for taking the time to fix it. I made a mental note to pull it back in a pony-tail tomorrow. Take that, humidity!

I walked back into the hotel at 7:45 tonight more tired than I was when I left. My brain has been zapped today. Mental overload! Today, I realized I have a lot of learning to do. On top of that, I have a lot of people depending on me to become the expert over a significant amount of information in the span of 3 weeks so that I can spend the next month and a half teaching them what I know (hopefully). And even though I felt completely exhausted and slightly overwhelmed as I drove back to the hotel tonight, I was so very thankful.

Five months ago I didn’t know if I would still have a job. Five months ago, after facing so many life-altering changes, I found out that my career path and working environment was going to be changing too. The one thing that I thought was stable, the one thing that seemed to be consistent at the time, was no longer certain. More uncertainty. Just what I needed.  But, at this point in time, I had been learning for months to trust God. Worry wasn’t going to change a thing, so the only thing I could do was move forward and believe that He would continue to take care of me. Normal Brittnye behavior would have been to start passing out my resume and going for job interviews. I hate waiting and I hate not having a certain answer. I like definite plans. I didn’t know for sure if or when I would find out about my job, so logically, it made sense that I should begin looking. But I just didn’t feel like it. Maybe it’s because I didn’t have a whole lot of extra motivation propelling me at the time. Maybe it’s because I really do love my job and co-workers too much to up and leave at the first sign of uncertainty. I don’t really know why, but as I prayed about, I just didn’t feel like the Lord was leading to me to move. I felt like He was asking me to stay put and wait, even though that didn’t seem to be the most logical thing to do at the time. I believed the Lord would show me what to do and where to go when the timing was right, so I went against my “get it done,” Type-A personality and I waited for Him to move me.

^“On the day the Tabernacle was set up, the cloud covered it. But from evening until morning the cloud over the Tabernacle looked like a pillar of fire. This was the regular pattern—at night the cloud that covered the Tabernacle had the appearance of fire. Whenever the cloud lifted from over the sacred tent, the people of Israel would break camp and follow it. And wherever the cloud settled, the people of Israel would set up camp. In this way, they traveled and camped at the Lord’s command wherever he told them to go. Then they remained in their camp as long as the cloud stayed over the Tabernacle. If the cloud remained over the Tabernacle for a long time, the Israelites stayed and performed their duty to the Lord. Sometimes the cloud would stay over the Tabernacle for only a few days, so the people would stay for only a few days, as the Lord commanded. Then at the Lord’s command they would break camp and move on. Sometimes the cloud stayed only overnight and lifted the next morning. But day or night, when the cloud lifted, the people broke camp and moved on. Whether the cloud stayed above the Tabernacle for two days, a month, or a year, the people of Israel stayed in camp and did not move on. But as soon as it lifted, they broke camp and moved on. So they camped or traveled at the Lord’s command, and they did whatever the Lord told them through Moses.”– Numbers 9:15-23

Here they are again doing what they do best, wandering. The Israelites knew God was leading them to the Promised Land, they just didn’t know the path on which God was taking them. But He knew the exact path, had a good reason for taking them that way, and was faithful to lead their every step. Sometimes they had to wait. Some waits were longer than the others. And I’m sure they had their moments of wondering why they were still camping out. What was the hold up? Why are we sitting here waiting, Lord? But God knew, and so He had them wait. It was all a part of the journey. A perfectly, divinely planned and mapped out journey. They were going to get to the Promised Land eventually, but only if they waited on Him to lead them there.

Waiting has been a part of my journey, too. Even now, as I type, I’m waiting. And I spent a quarter of the year waiting to find out that I was, in fact, going to get to keep my job. I spent 2 months waiting to find out when I would be trained to do my new job, and I know that the wait isn’t over now. And I’ve learned a lot in my wait. In fact, the most important thing I’ve learned is how important it is to wait when He says wait. If He doesn’t move you forward, don’t move. Stay put. Because He knows when it’s time to sit still and when it’s time to pack up and start walking. Wait. Don’t get ahead of Him. I’ve spent a majority of my life running in front of God rather than following behind Him, and many are the days I wish I would have learned the lesson of waiting earlier on in life. But I’m learning now. I’m learning how important it is to move when He moves you and to be still when He doesn’t. I’m learning how vital it is to listen and be obedient to do what He instructs, even if it goes against your Type-A personality.

And so I’m grateful that, for one of the first times in my life, I waited. I’m grateful I didn’t take off in a dead sprint because of my worry and fear. Because if we’re waiting, it’s for a reason. Sometimes, when we wait, it’s because He intends for us to be there. The journey is long, the path isn’t always clear, but we can trust that when we wait on Him, move when He moves, stay when He stays, He’ll make sure we get to the right place. It’s all part of that beautifully, divinely mapped out journey. And I’m glad He had me wait, because this was right where I was hoping I would be!

#178 – Because we end up in the right places when we wait on Him and move with Him.

“Stay on the path that the Lord your God has commanded you to follow. Then you will live long and prosperous lives in the land you are about to enter and occupy.” – Deuteronomy 5:33