Reason #172
I hear fireworks popping across the field behind my house and have for the past 3 nights. An early celebration, I guess. Really, I think it's to make up for the fireworks ban last year. Either way, I'm glad July is here.
I designated July to be my leaf-turning month. Time for some personal changes. I feel like I have done quite well in getting my mental, spiritual and emotional heath under control, now it's time (in the words of Olivia Newton John) to get physical, phyiscal. Time to get in shape, time to start eating healthy, and time to get rested. And as I sit in bed eating an almost midnight snack, an exception I'm making just for tonight, I realize that my leaf has not even budged.
And I wonder why this is so hard for me to do. I look in the mirror and I can very obviously see it. I squeeze my pants on and I feel it. I spend 20 minutes walking at a brisk pace and I'm breaking out in a sweat. Pathetic, I know. But it's hard! And I realize that it's so hard because I just want it to happen. I want to crave vegtables and detest sugar. I want to be able to step on the treadmill and run 5 miles with ease. And, most importantly, I want go to bed by 10:00 every night. But I don't want to put in the effort to make any changes, I just want to blink and the changes automatically happen. And so, I'm beginning to come to the terms that maybe what I'm lacking most is a little discipline, and of course, the usual...patience.
Change is hard, especially lifestyle changes. I want to eat sugar all the time, but I don't want it to stick to my hips. I want to work out as long as I don't get sweaty or become short of breath. I want to go to bed early, but I want to stay up and do the things I want to do. I have all the "want" a girl needs, I just don't have the will power to do it.
And I realize this happens a lot in life. We want changes, we want to do things differently, but what's it going to cost us to make the change? Do we have to give up something we really like? Is it going to take an extra big amount of effort and energy? Is it going to be incredibly difficult? Is is a little scary? Because really, if it's not fun, easy, and quick, I don't want to do it. I'll just stay where I am, keep thinking good thoughts and having good intentions, and MAYBE one day it will just happen. Truth is, rarely do things "just happen." Good intentions hardly get the job done. And every change, good or bad, isn't quick and easy.
So I sit looking at my leaf tonight. My leaf, still laying on the same side it's been on for a while, definitely needs to be turned over. I suppose it's a little late to do so today, but maybe I can begin the process slowly. Maybe just walking over to the leaf is a good start. Maybe this change, just like all the others, will come in phases over many months' time. Because Rome wasn't built in a day, and unless a big gust of wind comes along, I'm beginning to think leaf turning might require a little bit more time, too.
#172 - Because change is hard, but it's not impossible.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7
I designated July to be my leaf-turning month. Time for some personal changes. I feel like I have done quite well in getting my mental, spiritual and emotional heath under control, now it's time (in the words of Olivia Newton John) to get physical, phyiscal. Time to get in shape, time to start eating healthy, and time to get rested. And as I sit in bed eating an almost midnight snack, an exception I'm making just for tonight, I realize that my leaf has not even budged.
And I wonder why this is so hard for me to do. I look in the mirror and I can very obviously see it. I squeeze my pants on and I feel it. I spend 20 minutes walking at a brisk pace and I'm breaking out in a sweat. Pathetic, I know. But it's hard! And I realize that it's so hard because I just want it to happen. I want to crave vegtables and detest sugar. I want to be able to step on the treadmill and run 5 miles with ease. And, most importantly, I want go to bed by 10:00 every night. But I don't want to put in the effort to make any changes, I just want to blink and the changes automatically happen. And so, I'm beginning to come to the terms that maybe what I'm lacking most is a little discipline, and of course, the usual...patience.
Change is hard, especially lifestyle changes. I want to eat sugar all the time, but I don't want it to stick to my hips. I want to work out as long as I don't get sweaty or become short of breath. I want to go to bed early, but I want to stay up and do the things I want to do. I have all the "want" a girl needs, I just don't have the will power to do it.
And I realize this happens a lot in life. We want changes, we want to do things differently, but what's it going to cost us to make the change? Do we have to give up something we really like? Is it going to take an extra big amount of effort and energy? Is it going to be incredibly difficult? Is is a little scary? Because really, if it's not fun, easy, and quick, I don't want to do it. I'll just stay where I am, keep thinking good thoughts and having good intentions, and MAYBE one day it will just happen. Truth is, rarely do things "just happen." Good intentions hardly get the job done. And every change, good or bad, isn't quick and easy.
So I sit looking at my leaf tonight. My leaf, still laying on the same side it's been on for a while, definitely needs to be turned over. I suppose it's a little late to do so today, but maybe I can begin the process slowly. Maybe just walking over to the leaf is a good start. Maybe this change, just like all the others, will come in phases over many months' time. Because Rome wasn't built in a day, and unless a big gust of wind comes along, I'm beginning to think leaf turning might require a little bit more time, too.
#172 - Because change is hard, but it's not impossible.
"For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline." - 2 Timothy 1:7
Comments
Post a Comment