Reason #199

I went to bed early last night because I had to get up early this morning. I have learned to live tired. I fell into a bad sleeping habit and have yet to climb my way out of it. It takes me about .2 seconds to fall asleep when I finally get into bed, and once I'm asleep, I don't wake easily. Well, at 2:15 this morning, my eyes popped open. I wasn't sure what woke me up but I could hear an unfamiliar noise. A rumbling. And not only could I hear it, I could feel it. And I couldn't make it out. So I tried for a few minutes to think through every possible thing it could be. Fan - no. Refrigerator - no. Air conditioner - no. I was out of guesses, so I finally got up enough courage to get out bed and check the rest of the house out. I looked out every window and couldn't seem to locate where the noise was coming from. So I crawled back into bed and let my imagination run wild. I thought of every worst case scenario possible and wasted no time in scaring the living day lights out of myself. Every little creak, every little noise, every little sound made my heart speed up. Before I knew it, I had turned myself into the main charater of a little thriller that was running through my mind. Scout, snuggled peacefully against my side, was of little to no comfort. So it was just me. Me alone with my frightening thoughts. And I began to devise a plan, I began to think through what steps I might need to take in the event that my imagination turns into a reality. And before I got too far into planning out my escape route, I found my alarm going off. 6:15AM, time to get up and start the day.

 "And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me—everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you." - Philippians 4:8-9

The mind is a powerful thing. A dangerous thing, too. And we so easily let it run wild. We let it control our actions and our emotions. In fact, we let it trick us. It can decieve us so well that we begin to believe our imagination. We begin to let our thoughts overtake us, rule us, ruin us. We think scary thoughts and so we live in fear. We think dreadful thoughts and so we live in despair. We think hopeless thoughts and despression sinks in. We think unrealistic thoughts and frustration grows. I'm a thinker through and through. I think, I rationalize, I analyze and, then, I do it some more. And so I begin to dwell on things, come up with scenarios, plan and dream only to be disappointed. Only to be let down. All because I let my own thoughts get out of control, out of focus. And I find myself with a big pile of worries and fears, things that didn't even exist until I started creating them, thinking them up.

And I realize that this happens because I so easily think selfish thoughts. I don't dwell on honorable, good, right, lovely things like I should. I get distracted and I dwell on earthly things. Things that are simple, dramatic, sinful. Things that don't even exsit outside of the realm of my imagination, but things I create because I don't fix my thoughts on Him like I should. And I realize when I do this, when I let my thoughts take control, it's because I'm not trusting Him. I'm not seeking Him. I'm not leaning on Him. And that's when it starts. That's when the planner and the pencil come out and I'm 10 years down the road building my own unrealistic expectations with my wildly creative imagination. Made up things that will only disappoint me in the end. Things that haven't even happened but still scare me none the less and cause me undue worry.

So I'm thankful that there's a fix, a solution to this wild thought process. I'm thankful that He's given us the perscription to curing a selfish, sinful mind. Quit thinking those thoughts. Just stop them in their tracks and think of honorable, admirable things. Think of things that are pleasing and pure. Because these thoughts won't let you down, these thoughts won't lead you astray. These thoughts will protect and guard you. And most of all, the thoughts will point you right back towards Him.

And from what I've learned, from what I've seen and know, our thoughts quickly become our actions. And once a thought is put into action, there is always an outcome. Pure, admirable, honorable, lovely thoughts lead to similar actions. And, as we all know, actions speak louder than words... or thoughts, for that matter. At least, I'd like to think so.

#199 - Because He's still in control... even when our minds aren't!

"We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." - 2 Corinthians 10:5

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