Reason #372

I didn't take driver's ed. Well, I did but my parents taught me how to drive. I didn't take the program through the school, rather the state of Texas said they would take my parents at their word and give me a license if we drove around together for hours on end. My mom was the one who really spent most of the time teaching me to drive, as she has much patience. I feel that any driving instructor must be patient and prayed up because teaching a 15 year old to operate heavy machinery isn't an easy task. I've been driving for 10 years now, so she was obviously a good teacher. Anyhow, when it came to driving, my dad used to tell me "look where you're going, not where you've been." As with most new drivers, I would get distracted looking to the side or behind me and begin to veer off the road. He was giving me good pratical advice. Where ever I set my gaze was where I was headed, and when I wasn't watching where I was going, I was headed in the wrong direction.

I think this advice holds true for life in general. Watch where you're going. Pay attention and keep your eyes focused on the right path. But sometimes we get off the path because we're too concerned with what happened back there. We're too busy looking behind us to realize we're not moving forward as we should be. Here's the truth. We all have things in the past that we don't like. We all have things that we are ashamed of. We've done things we would like to take back, we've been through circumstances we wish we could change, we've made mistakes, and we've fallen short. We're sinners. Fragile dirt clods covered in flesh. We mess up. And we've been hurt from those things. Maybe we brought it upon ourselves or maybe not, but either way it happened. And so we live in the past. We dwell on what was and we focus too much on the things we can't change. But if only this or if only that. Well, maybe we need to stop worrying about what we could have done and be more concerned about what we're doing. And sometimes, we're too busy focusing on the past because we're trying our best to cover it up. Conceal it and keep it a secret. We don't want anyone to know what happened back there, and so if we keep our eyes on it, we can make sure it doesn't get exposed. If we watch it, we can make sure we keep the lid shut tight so that the details don't escape. But does anyone have a past their completely proud of? Does anyone go through life thinking, "Man, every single moment or every single day has been perfect. I'm so proud of every decision I've made, and I would never change a thing or do it differently." If that's you, please tell me your secret so I can make sure to apply it going forward.

I'll be honest and share this with you. I failed my first driving test. Yep, failed it miserably. I had driven for hours upon end and I was confident in my ability. What I didn't know was the answers to the questions on the written test. I hadn't prepared for any of them at all. In my opinion, the questions were quite unnecessary and knowing the answer didn't prove I was a good driver, but it was part of the test. Being the perfectionist I am, I was crushed that I didn't pass. I was totally embarrassed, too. I felt so dumb. Now, I had to go back and tell everyone that I had failed. They knew I was taking this test, as I had proudly announced it to everyone. I just knew they would think so much less of me now because I couldn't pass a driver's test. This was not one of my prouder moments in life. But I went home and I pulled out that little driver's ed book that I had chosen to ignore, due to my arrogant belief that my ability alone made me an expert motor vehicle operator, and I studied it. I made sure that I knew every fine and penalty a driver could possibly face as well as any and all distances one might need to know when braking, parking, accelerating, crusing or idling. I went back a few weeks later and I passed that test with flying colors.

But I kept this little secret of failing to myself for years. Of course, now that I've been succesfully driving a decade, it doesn't bother me to share. I know I am a capable and good driver even if I did fail the test the first time around. The inetersting thing, too, is that I've found out that failing the written portion of the driving test is pretty common. I'm actually not the only person who has done that, even though I felt like it at the time. And I felt relief at knowing this. Not that I thrive off of others' failure, but it's comforting to know you're not the only one. And, the only way you find these things out is by sharing. But what if I had kept looking in the past, dwelling on my failure? What if I had let the fear of failing again keep me from moving foward? What if I hadn't looked ahead with determination and moved on despite my humiliation?

So why do we do this with life? Why do we look back so often? Why do we live in the past even though we know full well that we can't change it? We have to move on. We must be brave and determined to take a step forward. We must realize that if we only keep our eyes focused on the things behind us, we'll never be able to make it to what lies ahead of us. And the joy of moving foward is the hope that there are always better things in store for us that what we've done or what we've been through.

I talked to my Grandmother on the phone today and she reminded me of this. She reminded me that life is what lies ahead. Life isn't in the past. Life is always moving and changing and progressing, and we must move forward with it. If we want to really live life, we need to live it day to day, not yesterday or the day before that. What's done is done. It is where you've been. It's where you were. But it's not where you are now and it's not where you're going. And I've come to realize that when we look to Him, when we fix our gaze on Him, He will pull us out of where we've been and lead us forward in victory. He will never pull us back to those failures and heartaches and painful things that we faced. Rather, He will guide us into His peace and joy because He has much better things in store for us than anything we've experienced to date.

So I praise Him for being a God who is always forward moving. For being One who doesn't live in the past and who doesn't ask us to do that either. Rather, He is one who leads us foward to greater things than we could ever imagine, and all we simply have to do is just fix our eyes on Him and we'll always be headed in the right direction.

#372 - Because He leads us forward in the right direction.

"Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me forward on a firm footing." - Psalm 143:10

"That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." - 2 Corinthians 4:16-18

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