Reason #382
I woke up today with an upset stomach. I haven't been sick to my stomach in a long time. I thought I'd give it a try and go in to work, but when I looked in the mirror and noticed I was as white as a ghost, I figured they'd be able to tell I didn't feel good. Of course, it didn't help that I could hardly stand up over 30 seconds and was a hot, clammy mess. I decided to call in, which I hate doing. I can't stand to miss work. In fact, in the 4 years I have been working, I haven't ever called in sick until this December. I was even one of those students in college who never skipped class. I have the biggest conscience ever, so I have a hard time not being present when I'm supposed to be even if I have a really good excuse. I think my body has had it, though. My mom chalked it up to fatigue and exhaustion. I'm sure she's right, as mom's usually are about these kind of things. So no work today. I stayed in bed and slept most of the day away, and it was remarkable how much the extra sleep really did help!
I am a people person. I love being around people. I love talking and conversing, and I thrive off of human interaction. Really, I don't ever have those moments where I just want to be alone. I have plenty of moments where I just want to be at home, but rarely do I wish for complete solitude. Scout is a good companion, no doubt. She is awesome at snuggling, but she's not much of a conversationalist. And so, I have gone a little stir crazy today. I've probably had, at the most. about and hour and half of communication with real live people and that's it.
I stood over the ironing board as I was ironing my clothes for tomorrow, and I felt a little empty. It was as if something was missing. The only sound I heard was the washing machine and the steam coming from the iron. And I realized how alone I was feeling. I was completely by myself. This doesn't happen often. Usually, if I am by myself, it's for just a bit and because I've made the choice to be. Usually, I'm busy doing chores around the house or checking things off of my to-do list, but I had none of that tonight. It was just me, my thoughts, and Scout who was snuggled on the bed. And I wondered why this bothered me so much. Why couldn't I just be content being alone?
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone..." - Genesis 2:18
I agree. It's really not, and I realized that in a big way today. I wished so badly that I was at work this afternoon. I wished that I could have run to the store or gone to get a coke or SOMETHING. ANYTHING! I needed to see people. I needed to sit and talk and have another warm body near by. And the more I thought about this, the more I realized how often I seek out company from others. I realized how much I desire to be in the presence of others. But, the reality is, I have all of the companionship I need in my presence at all times. It may not be a warm body that I can see or touch, but He's there. And He wants to keep me company. He wants to converse with me and fill me with His presence. I just don't ask. I don't seek it out because I look for it in other places. And sure, God knew that we needed each other, which is why He created so many of us. But we need Him too, and no one can fill that empty void like He can.
And so it's good for me to realize these things. Ever so slowly, the Lord is bringing me back into reality and reminding me of how much I still need Him. I got so used to clinging to Him in the desert, and like the Israelites, now that I'm in the promised land, I'm forgetting so many things. And so I'm really grateful for a stomach ache this morning. I'm grateful for the solitude so that God could remind me that I need Him in the mundane, as well. And I'm so glad He doesn't ever leave us on our own. I'm so grateful He doesn't make us live a life of solitude but rather will accompany us through every moment of the day. Needless to say, I can't wait to be back at work tomorrow. I can't wait to have a conversation and be around some warm bodies. But I'll be mindful to include Him, too. Because I want Him to be a part of my day... every day.
#382 - For time to be alone with Him.
"I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." - Psalm 139:7-10
I am a people person. I love being around people. I love talking and conversing, and I thrive off of human interaction. Really, I don't ever have those moments where I just want to be alone. I have plenty of moments where I just want to be at home, but rarely do I wish for complete solitude. Scout is a good companion, no doubt. She is awesome at snuggling, but she's not much of a conversationalist. And so, I have gone a little stir crazy today. I've probably had, at the most. about and hour and half of communication with real live people and that's it.
I stood over the ironing board as I was ironing my clothes for tomorrow, and I felt a little empty. It was as if something was missing. The only sound I heard was the washing machine and the steam coming from the iron. And I realized how alone I was feeling. I was completely by myself. This doesn't happen often. Usually, if I am by myself, it's for just a bit and because I've made the choice to be. Usually, I'm busy doing chores around the house or checking things off of my to-do list, but I had none of that tonight. It was just me, my thoughts, and Scout who was snuggled on the bed. And I wondered why this bothered me so much. Why couldn't I just be content being alone?
Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for man to be alone..." - Genesis 2:18
I agree. It's really not, and I realized that in a big way today. I wished so badly that I was at work this afternoon. I wished that I could have run to the store or gone to get a coke or SOMETHING. ANYTHING! I needed to see people. I needed to sit and talk and have another warm body near by. And the more I thought about this, the more I realized how often I seek out company from others. I realized how much I desire to be in the presence of others. But, the reality is, I have all of the companionship I need in my presence at all times. It may not be a warm body that I can see or touch, but He's there. And He wants to keep me company. He wants to converse with me and fill me with His presence. I just don't ask. I don't seek it out because I look for it in other places. And sure, God knew that we needed each other, which is why He created so many of us. But we need Him too, and no one can fill that empty void like He can.
And so it's good for me to realize these things. Ever so slowly, the Lord is bringing me back into reality and reminding me of how much I still need Him. I got so used to clinging to Him in the desert, and like the Israelites, now that I'm in the promised land, I'm forgetting so many things. And so I'm really grateful for a stomach ache this morning. I'm grateful for the solitude so that God could remind me that I need Him in the mundane, as well. And I'm so glad He doesn't ever leave us on our own. I'm so grateful He doesn't make us live a life of solitude but rather will accompany us through every moment of the day. Needless to say, I can't wait to be back at work tomorrow. I can't wait to have a conversation and be around some warm bodies. But I'll be mindful to include Him, too. Because I want Him to be a part of my day... every day.
#382 - For time to be alone with Him.
"I can never escape from your Spirit! I can never get away from your presence! If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." - Psalm 139:7-10
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