Reason #374
I used to really dislike math. It was not my strong suit. I was more of a language arts type of girl. For many years, I despised the subject. In fact, I'll admit that I received my first and only B in math, and it devastated me. Now, I wasn't a miserable failure by any means, but it didn't come easy to me. I didn't breeze through it like everything else. Math challenged me, and I didn't like it. I couldn't understand why I wasn't able to catch on so easily, but one day things changed. Half way through my 8th grade year, I swallowed my pride and changed math classes. I so desperately wanted to be in the "advanced" class, but it was eating my lunch and causing too much anxiety. I was removed from the class per my request and placed into a different class. I had a really incredible teacher, who I will credit for my change in attitude towards the subject. Things began to click. I started to understand math, and not only did I understand it, but I started to enjoy it. It made sense all of the sudden. I had a new found love for this very subject that had caused me undue stress and many tears for 14 years. I looked at math differently, thought of it differently, and I wasn't intimidated by it anymore. It just took some time, a humbling change, and a great teacher to turn things around and make all the difference for me.
We never stop learning, and if you regularly read my blog you know what my struggling subjects have become. Insecurity, worth, and acceptance. These subjects are eating my lunch, too. I am trying my all, giving it my best but I just can't seem to quite conqueor them. I don't understand it, either. I don't know why they're giving me such a fit. But I'm being challenged and stretched and it's causing undue stress. I want to get a handle on them. I want to breeze through these subjects and be done with them forever, but that's not the case. Because the thing is, like math, these are subjects that will never just go away. Think how often we use math. I think of everything in dollar signs, so I use math constantly. I needed to learn the subject well so that I didn't face the rest of life completely frustrated by this very concept that would help me get to where I am today. What if I didn't know how to add or subtract? What if I didn't understand how decimals and percentages work? I'd definitely be out of a job, and I wouldn't have much luck in my chosen career field. And so I had to learn math. I had to learn how to make it work for me, to see math for what it is and not be scared of it, so that I could use it to my advantage. And I had to realize the purpose of math was not to defeat me and make me feel like a failure. Math was not out to get me, math was there for my own good. There to challenge me and teach me things that I would use for the rest of my life.
The difference here is that math isn't full of emotion. Math is black and white and there's always a definite answer. These other subjects are grey. So I'm trying to figure them out. I'm trying to wrap my head around truths. Why am I being challenged here? What is it that I need to learn in order to truly understand the lesson being presented? I don't know, but I'm hoping that soon it will click. I'm hoping that before much longer, I'll get a handle on this and it will start to make sense. Because until I get it, until I understand and know why, these subjects aren't going anywhere. I can't move on to the next thing until I get these down. So I'm trying to learn, even though I don't enjoy it. I'm trying to figure out how to view things from a different perspective and make it work to my advantage rather than allowing myself to feel all sorts of defeat. Some nights, I just don't have the answer. Some nights, I don't know what to do or think. Tonight is one of those. Tonight is a night where I'm just trying to listen, learn, and understand. But the good thing is, I have an excellent teacher. One who doesn't give up on me even though I am a slow learner. A kind and gentle teacher who will patiently work with me until I have it down and understand the whole purpose behind the lesson. And it may take a while. It may not click anytime soon. But I have full confidence in His ability to help me make sense of it all, and I know He will continue teach me until that light bulb comes on and I see it from His eyes. To be a great teacher means you must not only know the material, you must also understand it. And He does. He knows and He understands, and I'm just praying that before much longer I'll have the same attitude and outlook on it as He does and that it will make all the difference for me.
#374 - Because He is a good, loving teacher who is faithful to give us answers to life's lessons.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30
We never stop learning, and if you regularly read my blog you know what my struggling subjects have become. Insecurity, worth, and acceptance. These subjects are eating my lunch, too. I am trying my all, giving it my best but I just can't seem to quite conqueor them. I don't understand it, either. I don't know why they're giving me such a fit. But I'm being challenged and stretched and it's causing undue stress. I want to get a handle on them. I want to breeze through these subjects and be done with them forever, but that's not the case. Because the thing is, like math, these are subjects that will never just go away. Think how often we use math. I think of everything in dollar signs, so I use math constantly. I needed to learn the subject well so that I didn't face the rest of life completely frustrated by this very concept that would help me get to where I am today. What if I didn't know how to add or subtract? What if I didn't understand how decimals and percentages work? I'd definitely be out of a job, and I wouldn't have much luck in my chosen career field. And so I had to learn math. I had to learn how to make it work for me, to see math for what it is and not be scared of it, so that I could use it to my advantage. And I had to realize the purpose of math was not to defeat me and make me feel like a failure. Math was not out to get me, math was there for my own good. There to challenge me and teach me things that I would use for the rest of my life.
The difference here is that math isn't full of emotion. Math is black and white and there's always a definite answer. These other subjects are grey. So I'm trying to figure them out. I'm trying to wrap my head around truths. Why am I being challenged here? What is it that I need to learn in order to truly understand the lesson being presented? I don't know, but I'm hoping that soon it will click. I'm hoping that before much longer, I'll get a handle on this and it will start to make sense. Because until I get it, until I understand and know why, these subjects aren't going anywhere. I can't move on to the next thing until I get these down. So I'm trying to learn, even though I don't enjoy it. I'm trying to figure out how to view things from a different perspective and make it work to my advantage rather than allowing myself to feel all sorts of defeat. Some nights, I just don't have the answer. Some nights, I don't know what to do or think. Tonight is one of those. Tonight is a night where I'm just trying to listen, learn, and understand. But the good thing is, I have an excellent teacher. One who doesn't give up on me even though I am a slow learner. A kind and gentle teacher who will patiently work with me until I have it down and understand the whole purpose behind the lesson. And it may take a while. It may not click anytime soon. But I have full confidence in His ability to help me make sense of it all, and I know He will continue teach me until that light bulb comes on and I see it from His eyes. To be a great teacher means you must not only know the material, you must also understand it. And He does. He knows and He understands, and I'm just praying that before much longer I'll have the same attitude and outlook on it as He does and that it will make all the difference for me.
#374 - Because He is a good, loving teacher who is faithful to give us answers to life's lessons.
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.” - Matthew 11:28-30
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